Joshisms

Joshisms:

-- Me: Your feet are nasty!

Joshua: No, they're not!

Me: Yes they are! They're dirty and your toenails need to be cut. 

Joshua: We're hobos. Just say we're hobos. 

-- Joshua has a small Christmas tree in his room that he sometimes uses as a nightlight. He had gone to bed and a few minutes later came out of his room to ask:

Joshua: Mom, can I turn my light on?

Me: What light?

Joshua: *singing* It's Christmas time, it's Christmas time... (referring to the tree)

Me: I don't care. 

David: Just go get your butt back in bed.

Joshua: *as he walks down the hall* Don't be mean, it's Christmas time! 

-- Joshua: What are we having for dinner?

Me: I dont know. What would you like for dinner?

Joshua: That's a gooood question. If I had a beard, I'd be scratching it right now. 

-- Joshua to Bodie: This is my pumpkin, Darla. 

Bodie: *pats the pumpkin*

Joshua: Why are you touching her stem? That’s not appropriate. 

— Me: Go blow your nose, you have a whistle in there.

Joshua: I just gotta rearrange the furniture in there, that’s all. 

— Joshua: I was playing football and B jigged me and then tripped me.

Me: Jigged you??

Joshua: Yea, like went back and forth real fast...break your ankles.

Me: Oh! I know what “break your ankles” is; we used to say that, but Ive never heard of “jigged”. 

Joshua: Well, Mom, it IS 2017...and now we say jigged.

Me: 😑

— Me: Let’s go home and get some hot chocolate!

Joshua: You’ve got me all hyped up, Mama! 

— De va ju

— Today, we watched the snow and Mrs McCarty put on Christmas music and a fireplace. The song was 'It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year' and in my heart, I wanted to cry.

— While listening to John Mayer’s song, Assassin, Joshua asks, “Is he a real assassin or a love assassin?”

— I wish Bob Ross was still alive. I like his hair. 

Joshisms

The face he makes when I ask him to smile a real smile. 

-- As we drove by BB&T: Hey, BB&T! Bank, Butt, & Toot.


-- Joshua, Mama, and I took a trip to Washington DC recently and played the licence plate game on the way. Joshua was in charge of looking for plates we hadn't seen yet. He did great with reading the state names but had trouble with Connecticut. He yelled out, "Conticoot!!"


-- While riding the metro in DC, we happened to get on one of the new trains they're rolling out. It was clean and spacious but someone had left their empty cup from Starbucks behind. It had a woman's name written on it and the straw had lipstick on it.

Mama: Joshua, let's look at the cup and see if we can determine if the person that drank it was a woman or a man.

Joshua: Well, it has a girl's name, so it was a woman.

Mama: How else can we tell it was a woman?

Joshua: Hhmmmm, there's a bloody straw...

Mama: What do women use that men don't use that you see?

Joshua: Lipstick!!


-- Joshua bought a stuffed flamingo from the zoo in DC as a souvenir. I asked him what he was going to name it. He decided on Flamont. Flamont the Flamingo.


-- Joshua: Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Me: What does obvious mean?

Joshua: I don't know.

Me: Don't use words you don't know the meaning of. If I say 'The grass is green,' you could say, 'That's obvious.' So what does obvious mean?

Joshua: Duh, we already know that.

Me: You got it.


-- Joshua saw a bin of flip flops for 97 cents each at Wal-mart. As we went by he said, "Oh wow, that's a nice price!"

--Me: Grandmom's surgery was a knee replacement.

Joshua: Replacement?

Me: Yes, they took here old knee out and replaced it with a new one.

Joshua: With WHOSE knee??!!!


-- Joshua correctly used the word "contestants" in a sentence:

David: Where'd you learn that word?

Joshua: Dad, I'm in the THIRD grade!

David: Oh, my bad!

Joshisms

-- After we asked him to stop playing his harmonica: You hate my lovely lullabies! 

-- Baby Ray's, comin' your way! (Sweet Baby Ray's bbq sauce, that is.) 

-- Joshua: Why are there beaches where people are naked?

David: I don't know; it's weird, isn't it?

Joshua: Yea! I'm NEVER going there. 

(I'm holding him to it. 😉)

-- Dad, you get the light saver and I get the nun chucks. Because I'm especially good at the nun chucks. 

-- Tank, lay down! Lay down!! That's sitting; not lay downing!

-- While eating a churro from Havana Dave's: Look at all that sugar! Im gonna get jacked up!

-- I've always wished my Dad was a musician. But Dad can only play the drums a little. Wait, he could play the keyboard....get it? The computer keyboard?! 

-- I think my butt has a date with Mom's lap... (Said the week he was sick and wouldn't let me out of his sight.) 

-- Joshua: The sun's out!

David: Sun's out, guns out!

Joshua: Guns out?

David: You know what that means?

Joshua: No

David: If the sun is out, *makes fist and flexes his arm*...

Joshua: Arm wrestle!!!

Joshisms

It's been a few months since I posted a list of the cute and clever things my kid says. So, to celebrate winter track-out, here's a fresh batch of Joshisms!

-- Wow! That must have been a big peach! (He thought this coconut was a peach pit)

-- Joshua: So, am I gonna go to that other gymnastics class?

Me: She put you on a wait list.

Joshua: What's that?

Me: It means that the class is full so you can't go. But if someone leaves the class, they'll see who is on the wait list and they'll let that person in the class.

Joshua: Oh.

*several minutes later*

Joshua: When she calls, I bet I'll weigh enough.

Me: It doesn't matter how much you weigh; she was asking me about your age, not your weight.

Joshua: I know, but it's a "weight list".

(English is hard, you guys!!)

-- Joshua found a book of knock-knock jokes on the bookshelf the other day and has been bugging us with (bad) jokes every day. He was reading them to me from the other room and after asking me one, I heard him say to himself, "I gotta remember that...", and quietly repeated the joke.

-- Me: Can I sleep in your bed tonight?

Joshua: Yea, maybe.

Me: (thinking he had said 'Yea baby') Don't say that to me! In fact, don't say it to anyone!

Joshua: I didn't say anything!

Me: Yea, baby?!?!

Joshua: NO! I said, 'Yea maybe'...Baby?? That would just be weird!

-- Joshua: Mom, is dinner almost done?

Me: Not quite. The rolls will take about 25 minutes.

Joshua: What else did you make?

Me: Oh, tonight, we feast! I made meatballs, mashed potatoes, broccoli, and rolls.

Joshua: 25 minutes for all that?? It's worth it!

-- While looking at a photo of Mario & Luigi: "Mom, is that Mario and Lemony Slick?"

-- Me: You ready, Freddy?

Joshua: I was always ready! My last name is ready!

-- Joshua; Dad.

David: What?

Joshua: Your butt, b-u-t-t...is ba-ouncy!

-- "Deck the halls of jolly holly..."

-- "You half scared me to death!"

Joshisms

-- Joshua: Snuggle with me!

Me: No, not tonight.

Joshua: But you haven't snuggled with me in years!

-- I took a bad fall at school and bruised my back and butt. I kicked/tripped over Joshua's stool in the kitchen a few days later. 

Me: Ugh!! I'm determined to kill myself this week. It's gonna happen. 

Joshua: Noooo! I don't want you to die. You're too young to die!! 

-- Ooh! Expanded form...I LOVE this! 

-- Joshua had a substitute two days one week. On the way home from school he said, "I hope Mrs L is back tomorrow because I'm over this substitute thing!"

-- We saw a flock of little birds fly over one evening and I wondered out loud where they were going. Joshua piped up, "Maybe they're hibrating. Hibrating? No, hibernating!!"

-- Upon seeing a baby picture of himself:

Joshua: Wow! That must have been a long time ago. 

Me: It was! It was 7 years ago. You were 3 months old. 

Joshua: Oh man, you've had me for a long time! 

-- While reading a book about dinosaurs: Supersaurus wore his shades to school. Yea, he was super....supersaurus! 

-- Joshua: Can we watch "Back To the Future"? 

David: You sure? It's an old movie. Like 30 years old.

Joshua: Is it in black and white?

-- After finally losing all of his loose teeth and being able to bite a sandwich again:

Oh man, I haven't eaten like this in years!!

-- While playing basketball: Airballs are really hard. I've done it like ten times in one game and won!

Joshisms

-- I was trying to talk David into cooking some fried rice and he wasn't having it. I thought I could sway him if Joshua was on my side:

Me: J, do you want some fried rice?

J: No! I don't want dried rice!

-- Joshua went outside to get something from the sandbox but came right back in. I asked if he had changed his mind. He replied, "The chickens are having a girls day over there." (Petrie sometimes chases him, so he avoids her when he's alone.)

-- "I'm gonna help Dad clean out the garage. And when we get done with all that business, I'm gonna play with him."

-- Joshua was playing a game with Grammy and had to draw an item listed on one of the playing cards. His item was a fork. He drew a fork with three tines and then said that because it only had three, it should be called a "thork". 

-- David was talking to a co-worker on the phone about work stuff and was using work jargon, which sounds like greek to us. Joshua looked at me and asked, "How do they know this stuff?"

-- After watching Toy Story 3: "Does Buzz *ever* take his suit off?!"

-- Me: Sing a song from your play to Grammy.

Joshua: One small voice, singing....that's all I've got.

-- Me: Joshua, go get the sunscreen out of my bag, please. 

Joshua: *gets the sunscreen* Mom, you're not 50. You can't use this. It says 50 plus. 

Me: Hah! That's the SPF, not who's allowed to use it. 

-- Mom, can we watch Alice and the Wonderland?

-- This ranch dip is off the line!

-- Me: We have so much to do tomorrow!

Joshua: Like what?

Me: Go through all these old clothes, finish laundry, start packing for the beach...

Joshua: Make a secret plan to steal Dolly...

*looks at Poppa & Grammy* Well, I guess it isn't a secret anymore! 

-- Joshua: *singing* Who, who, who let the dogs out? Now you go, Mom.

Me: Who let the dogs out? We used to sing that in high school because we were the Brunswick Bulldogs. 

Joshua: Bwunsick, Bunswick...I can't say that. Brunsick, Brunsrick, Brunswick...there it is! Brunswick Bulldogs. 

-- Mom, I don't have any flip in my flip flops! Guess they're just flops. 

-- Me: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Joshua: The egg. 

Me: But how did the egg get here if there was no chicken to lay it?

Joshua: The chicken, then!

Me: But how did the chicken get here if there was no egg to hatch from?

Joshua: A mama chicken and a Dada chicken fall in love, and they put their butts together and make an egg and the mama chicken drops it out and it makes more chickens. 

Me: Is that how chickens make more chickens? 

Joshua: I don't know how they do it. I don't know that much about chickens. Just that they peck a lot and they make eggs. 

Joshisms

-- We saw a lizard on our front porch. Joshua screamed, "It's an iguana!"

-- Me: Catch the lizard, Josh!

Joshua: I need a pot!

-- Joshua got a stuffed cat and mouse from our most recent trip to Ikea. He named the mouse "Ratty Mo' Fatty."

-- Joshua: What does the cow say when it's riding it's horse across the road?

Me: I don't know, what does the cow say?

Joshua: "Moo-ha!" 

-- Mom, who do you think is the best in this family? Except for me, who's the best? You or Daddy?

-- Joshua's story at school for this week was Cinderella. He's read it several times and said, "I'm thinking something weird happens because everything disappears at midnight except the shoes." 

-- You know how you have water on your face and then it disappears? It's evaporating. Into a cloud. 

-- Joshua: Dad, you remember that movie we watched about the rocket that goes to space and something happens and they're stuck there but then they come home?

David: Apollo 13?

Joshua: Yes! Can we watch the first one?

-- Joshua: *singing* Bare acessanees

Me: It's "Bare Necessities". 

Joshua: What does necessities mean?

Me: Needs

Joshua: *singing* Bare needs...bare needs. 

-- Angie: Next Sunday is Mother's Day, so you and your Dad need to make a plan for your Mom. Take her breakfast in bed and buy some flowers and she's in charge all day.

Joshua: Can I have breakfast in bed, too?

Angie: Take breakfast to your Mom and then you can all eat in bed together. 

Joshua: Yes!! When is Son's Day?

-- Joshua was talking about something gross and he said, "That gives me the jiggles!" (He meant willies.)

-- I let Joshua scrape the bowl after making cupcakes. I asked, "Best day ever?" He replied, "YOU'RE the best day ever."

-- David: Come look at the moon.

Joshua: Oh wow! It's a crust moon!

Me: A crust?

Joshua: Yea, a crust moon. 

Me: You mean a crescent moon?

Joshua: haha, oh yea, a crescent. 

-- Joshua: Blood is a liquid because it takes the shape of whatever it's in. 

Me: Yes, that's right. How do you know that?!

Joshua: From school!

Me: Are we liquids?

Joshua: No, people are solids. Except Grammy. She's not a solid.

Me: Then what is she?

Joshua: She's a delicate flower!

-- My brother, Robert, and his family came over for dinner the other night. Dude

(as Joshua calls him) was picking on Josh, as usual, and Josh looked over at me and asked, "How did you grow up with this guy?!" 

Joshisms

-- After getting just a light dusting of snow: 

Me: Did you see the snow?!

Joshua: Ugh...salt's more like it.

-- Joshua: I only know a few names from Harry Potter.

Me: Oh yea? Like who?

Joshua: Harry Potter, Ron, Hermione, and Mouth Boy. 

Me: Mouth Boy??

Joshua: Yea. He talks a lot. Like blah blah blah. So they call him Mouth Boy.

Me: It's Malfoy. 

Joshua: Oohhhhh.

-- Joshua: What's an accent?

Me: It's when a person talks differently than you. Like Harry Potter has a British accent because he is from Britain. 

Joshua: And that candy lady we ate lunch with?

Me: What candy lady?

Joshua: G'ma's friend, that ate lunch with us.

Me: Gelly? Gelly-bean? (Her name is Magella but we call her Gelly-bean.)

Joshua: Yea, her. She talks like Harry Potter. 

Me: Yes, she has a British accent. 

-- I put the chickens in the dog crate in the garage while we were under tornado watches and warnings:

Joshua: Why are the chickens so fussy?

Me: Because I put them in the garage. 

Joshua: Well, have they watched the weather yet?! 

-- We had a picnic at the church building and then Joshua rode his scooter around the parking lot before Bible study. As we were walking into the building, he said, "Thanks Mom, I enjoyed that." 😍

-- Me: Daddy's home.

Joshua: Before us?!

Me: Yep. 

Joshua: That little stinker! 

-- Joshua: I wish I had a chain necklace. And a chain bracelet. 

Me: Oh yea?

Joshua: Yes. And basketball shoes. 

Me: Okay, who in your class has those things?

Joshua: Mr. D. (One of the TAs for 1st grade)

-- Joshua: What does that little R on that sign mean?

Me: It stands for "registered."

Joshua: What does that mean?

Me: It means no one else except for Chick-fil-A can use the name Chick-fil-A. 

Joshua: Oh. But it should be a U. For "Used".

Joshisms

-- Maybe Yoda does yoda. Because his name is Yoda. (He means yoga.)

-- David: Who is your mother and where did she come from?!

Joshua: Um...she is a Earthling. 

-- Me: Josh, who is playing football now?

Joshua: Picksburg and Dinner. 

Me: Are you sure that's right?

Joshua: Daddy said it was Picksburg and Dinner! (Pittsburg and Denver)

-- Me: Look outside and see if it's snowing.

*He goes to the front door and struggles with the lock.*

Me: You could just look out through the window.

Joshua: I like to do it the old fashioned way. 

-- Do mongooses say 'moo' instead of 'honk'? 

-- Joshua: It's almost Spring because that groundhog didn't see his shadow. Even the one in Transylvania says it will be Spring.

Me: Transylvania?! 

Joshua: Yes. It's far away from where we live. 

Me: Are you sure it's Transylvania?

Joshua: Mrs White said big-name something something ground hog lives there.

Me: Pennsylvania. Punxsutawney Phil is in Pennsylvania.

Joshua: Oh! Is it scary there?

-- Today at recess, I was playing tag and tripped and fell down but a little kid was in front of me and I accidentally knocked him down. I fell all the way down the hill! When I got up, I said, "You okay, bud?" He said, "Yea."

-- Joshua saw a photo of me at Disney World when I was a little girl:

Josh: Mom, is that you?!

Me: Yes! Grandaddy & Grandmama took me to Disney when I was little. 

Josh: Man, that castle is really old!

Me: 😑

Josh: Whaaaaat?!?

-- Me: Joshua, tell Daddy who that lady in Target said you were dancing like.

Joshua: Cam Mutant (Cam Newton)

-- Joshua asked David to sleep with him while we were at Claire's house. David went to get in bed and this is what I heard from the other room.

Joshua: You're sleeping in your UNDERWEAR?!?!

David: I had planned to, yes. Is that okay with you?

Joshua: Eew! Are you SERIOUS?!!

David: Yes! 

Joshua: Grown-ups these days! 

-- While painting the kitchen: 

David: Let's get some music going! 

Joshua: Yea!!!! Play Brown Mars! That one's my favorite! (Bruno Mars)

End of the Year Interview - 2015

1) What is your name? Joshua

2) When is your birthday? May 13

3) What is your favorite color? Blue. Tar-heels blue

4) What is your favorite toy? My light saver (light saber)

5) What is your favorite food? Ice cream. What about "real" food? Mozzarella sticks

6) What is your favorite holiday? Christmas

7) Who is your teacher? Mrs White

8) Who is your best friend? Tyler

9) What is your favorite song? Nothing Can Ever Separate Us (Nothing Ever Could Separate Us - Citizen Way)

10) What is your favorite book? The Kissing Hand

11) What was your favorite part about last year? Going to Disney World (Technically, that trip was a 2016 trip, but we'll let it slide. ;))

12) What are you looking forward to this year? Playing in the snow

Joshisms

-- Me: What kind of cereal do you want?

Joshua: Fruit Toodles....Toodle Fruits. The kind with marshmallows in it.

Me: Lucky Charms?

Joshua: That's it!

-- Joshua: Remember when you were a kid and Grandaddy would say, "I wouldn't go down there if I was you." because he thought there was a man with a bloody axe down there?

Me: Yea. He was just tricking us. 

Joshua: Was the axe bloody from chopping off heads?

Me: I don't know why it was bloody. 

Joshua: Well, I can't ask him now. Because he's dead.

Me: When you get to Heaven you can ask him.

Joshua: Yep. Maybe Grandmama knows. I'll ask her.  

-- While throwing the frisbee with David: Dude, I'm not a professional! 

-- Brains taste like memories. 

-- Me to David: You're so smart. 

Joshua: He's been in high school...

-- Joshua pushing his way past me- 

Me: Excuse me son, am I in your way?

Joshua: Ha! Kids this day....

-- A commercial on TV said, "Thank you to moms everywhere...."

Joshua said, "Thanks, mom!"

-- Me: Robert told me to let him know and he would put the new brakes on for us. But I told him I didnt want to waste part of his day off, etc. and he was like, "It's not a big deal. Just let me know."

Joshua: Who said that mean thing to you?

Me: Dude. 

Joshua: Well, he's just a sassy-pants! 

-- Joshua: Mom! These rabbits turn white in the winter! That's crazy!

Me: Why do you think God made it so they would turn white?

Joshua: Because the snow is white.

Me: And why is it important that they match the snow?

Joshua: So other snow animals can't see them. Like snow foxes and snow snakes. Well, not snow snakes. That's not real.

Joshisms

-- David & Josh were watching tv while I made dinner. Joshua comes in and says, "What we're watching? It's not very appropriate, but it's funny. It's called 'Science of Stupid'."

-- Joshua: Mom, who is that?

Me: The Pope. 

Joshua: Pope? That's a funny name. 

Me: That's not his name, that's his title. 

Joshua: What's his real name?

Me: Ummm....I couldn't tell ya.

Joshua: Why can't you tell me? 

Me: Because I don't know.

Joshua: Oh! I thought maybe it was a secret. 

-- While eating lunch at "Chick-of-lay":

Joshua: Mom, what do these letters mean?

Me: I'm not sure but I think they help the employees know what's inside the box. Like, N for nuggets, S for strips and I don't know what the O could be for. 

Joshua: Osome? (Awesome)

Me: Haha! Awesome starts with A but good guess!

-- Joshua: My sense of smell found you. 

Me: Ooooh! Are you a dog?

Joshua: Yep. I'm a howling dog. 

-- While playing with Jackson's farm animal figurines:

Joshua: Mom, is this pig itchy because it has lots of bumps on it. 

Me: Well, that pig is a mama pig, so......

Joshua: Oh! They're suckers! 

-- Me: Have you thought about what you want to put on your Christmas list?

Joshua: An electric scooter, a dirt bike. A kid one with a helmet. A Disney ticket and to go there. A puppy that is really a grown up dog but still looks like a puppy. The kind like we saw at the store (a little poofy white dog). 2 other little puppies. And you know that electric car that the triplets on our road that are always naked have? One of those. 

Me: 😳

-- I collected driftwood at the beach and when I got home, Joshua looked down in the bag and said, "Mulch?!". 

-- Joshua had a check-up with the Doctor and my Aunt is a nurse there. She took his vitals and height, weight, etc and then took us to the exam room. Before she left, she asked him to get undressed and he was shocked. When she left, he asked me, "Is this a joke?" 

-- "I got two prizes today. I'm the luckiest kid ever!"

-- While watching Charlie Brown Thanksgiving:

"That girl (Lucy) is gonna move the ball and Charlie Brown's gonna land right on his back. It happens every time!"

J: She's not a sir!

Me: Marcy calls everyone Sir. 

J: Why? Oh! She's blinded! 

(She wears glasses but you can't see her eyes.)

Joshisms

Joshisms:

-- Joshua: When will a mouse come in our house?!

Me: We don't want a mouse in our house.

Joshua: But I want to dissect it and see what's inside!

-- Joshua: I wish I can dye my hair on crazy hair day. 

Me: We can do that. 

Joshua: Okay, I will tell you when it is. It's like a long time from now. Like when I track out for second grade.

Me: You're going to second grade?!

Joshua: Yea. After first grade, I am. 

Me: Will it ever end?!

Joshua: Pretty much not. 

-- We play a game of hide and seek where Josh is the hider and Tank is the seeker. Josh went to go hide and told David to cover Tank's eyes so he couldn't watch and wouldn't say where he was hiding because then Tank would know. ;)

-- Joshua was reading a book he brought home from school about pigs. The page read, "Pigs have a flat nose called a snout." Joshua read, "Pigs have a flabulous nose called a snart." 

-- While reading the word "elephant":

Joshua: Elephant....elepant?

Me: You were right. Elephant is correct. 

Joshua: But it'a a P.

Me: Yes. PH makes an F sound.

Joshua: Then why isn't it just an F??!

-- It isn't raining hard. It's just dribbling. (Drizzling)

-- Joshua: *fart*

Me: Joshua!!!!

Joshua: What?! It's just an expression!

-- Whoever loses is a rotten egg!

-- Tank ran after a stray cat that's been hanging around our house and David & I were yelling at him to come back and Josh said, "What's the big deal? It's just a bad word cat!" 

-- While David was watching the Washington and New York football game, Josh read the team abbreviations at the bottom of the screen as words: "Wush" and "Nug" are playing? 

-- Robert was outside with Joshua and Holt and they heard firecrackers go off. The boys perked up and looked around. Robert asked what that noise was. Joshua said, "A car crash with crackers!!" 

Joshisms

-- "I'm six now! I'm an upside down 9!"

-- A few minutes after I told Josh to go get ready for a shower:

Josh: I'm gonna go do something first. 

David: No. What did Mama tell you to do?

Joshua: Get naked!!

-- While swinging and making up songs about God:

Josh: Now I'll sing a rock and roll song about God.

Me: Ok. Go for it.

Josh: GOD HAD A BABY! GOD HAD A BABY!!!

Me: *laughing*

Josh: Wait...that's not right. *laughing* That is NOT right.

-- While eating at Steak 'n Shake:

Josh: When we all eat out, can we always eat here?

David: Is it good?

Josh: Yes! Even if we did have to wait 15 minutes for our food!

-- Josh: You know that Brother Bear movie? I watched that this morning. Do any other countries say, "Whatcha doin, C?" or, "Whatcha doin, G?" like they say, "Whatcha doin, A?" (Whatcha doin, Eh?)

-- While looking at the little scissors on one of his pocket knives:

"Dad, a scissors is two screwed together knives."

-- While Grammy was having Josh track her finger:

Grammy: Your eyes are tracking together.

Josh: Yep. They're a team.

-- J: Mom, look! It's a beetle!

Me: Oh yea! He's pretty. Look how shiny green he is!

J: Yea! And he's an insect.

Me: How do you know?

J: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. He has 6 legs. See? An insect!

-- Kate brought over a balloon for Josh's graduation and it has an owl on it. It was by the window and Josh saw it while we were playing outside:  Mom, look "whooooo" is watching us!

-- Joshua saw a field with bales of hay: hey, hay! *snort* Hay!! Like Hey! 

Joshisms

-- While writing a sentence describing Tank:

Josh: How do you spell "white"? 

Me: White??!

Josh: Oh! I know!

-- Rhoninus (rhinoceros) 

Nosaurus

Rhonasaurus 

-- "Mom, let me ask you something about the Rifle Tower." (Eiffel tower)

-- "On 'Peabottom and Sherman', I heard that George Washington didn't really cut down a cherry tree. That's all I know." (Peabody and Sherman)

-- I kissed Josh's nose and he said, "Eww, you kissed my boogers!"

Me: I've kissed you just about everywhere.

Josh: Even in the bathroom?!

-- "That dripping sound is not necessary."

-- David laid down a Draw 4 card for Josh during a game of Uno. Josh's response: "You don't care any thing about me."

-- David fixed Josh a glass of water while Josh was in the bathroom. He told him, "Josh, your drink is on the counter by the stove." Later, while Josh was eating his snack, he said to David, "Dad, I was thinking my drink would be a little more 'spicy'." (meaning soda)

-- "My teacher in my class (at church) had to have surgery on her toe. They cut half her tailnoe!"

-- Joshua: This medicine tastes like dead birds. 

Me: Dead birds? It smells like peppermint to me.

Josh: Well, it tastes like dead birds to me!

Me: How do you know what dead birds taste like?

Joshua: I don't. But I think this is what it tastes like. 

-- "Guess what? It's Squirrel Reunion Day. They all gathered up in a tree."

-- While getting his inhaler while coughing his head off: "Just one lap of run and that what happens."

-- Upon seeing a photo of a possum: "A rat? That's a big rat! He haves big sharp teeth that could break a toe off!"

-- While helping David cook dinner:

J: What did they kill to make that?

D: A cow.

J: A girl cow sometimes?

D: Yes.

J: That's sad. They might have babies!