I feel stuck. I can't seem to get ahead! It's not just one area of my life...it's several. I feel cast out, left behind, alone. I KNOW I'm not. I KNOW I have lots of friends and family who love me. But right now, it doesn't feel like I do.
I got some good news at work a few weeks ago. A lady who works there quit. She works on commission and the work just wasn't there so she wasn't making money. It's the risk you take when you work for commission. That meant I got somewhat of a promotion. The promise of more hours a week, a little heavier work load, an office of my own (instead of the front room of our offices), and a possible pay raise. I was excited. I was proud. I felt like I had shown my work ethic and it had been rewarded. Then....my co-worker "renegotiated" her hours and is now working 1 day a week. She keeps her office....I don't get the promise of 20 hrs a week, we're now taking it "week by week" to see how it goes. I'm supposedly still getting a pay raise but don't know how much it will be. Anything would help I suppose. I have my 60 day review this Wed (unless that changes for the 3rd time!) ;) and will talk about when I'll be working, how much I'll make, etc, etc, etc. We talked today about going from 3 short days (10-4) to two long days (8-5) so I still get at least the 15 hours I NEED and can afford to pay my sitter!
I don't like to be stuck in the middle of things. I want them to start and then finish. Not be just hanging out in between. It's stressful and I don't do stressful very well.
Just as a side note: I STILL can't get blogger to keep me signed in with my suddenlink e-mail and my gmail logged in at the same time. When I sign in to blogger it logs me out of gmail every time. I can't change my current blogger e-mail address (suddenlink) w/out deleting my current blog and everything on it to change it to my gmail address. *sigh* Why must everything be so hard?!
Joshua is 11 months old today! I can hardly believe he's almost a year old already. It's amazing to see how much he's learned and grown over the past 11 months.
He "says" stop (sounds like "bop") and points when he is protesting a noise or something he doesn't want done.
He walks like a pro behind his walker toy...or a laundry basket, or patio chair, or anything else that he can push around. He still won't even stand on his own. We just think he's being lazy about it.
He crawls SUPER fast! Sometimes he crawls like Mowgli from The Jungle Book. Especially on grass or tile floor.
He's really into feeding himself. He tries it with a spoon but usually ends up going back to using his hands. He loves green beans, fruit (he likes the sweet stuff!), oatmeal, LOVES bread and ham and will eat most anything we put in front of him. He's not a big fan of potatoes though.
He loves his Daddy and sometimes prefers to be with him instead of me. Mostly in the mornings.
He gives kisses to his stuffed animals, Dixie (Daddy & Mama's dog) and to Grammy. Sometimes David gets some but I have to steal mine. :( I did get quite a few yesterday evening though.
He likes to "talk" on the phone. He holds it to his ear and looks very serious.
He sings when we do. Especially during church. He also sings while riding in his wagon.
He still loves being outside. It's never too hot or cold or rainy for him. He's an outside boy!
He has started waving hi and bye.
He started blowing kisses last weekend. He looks so proud when he learns a new thing.
He started signing "please" just yesterday. He doesn't use it much but we'll keep practicing and will add "thank you" as well. He still won't sign "more" and just squawks at us when we sign it to him. ;)
He stood for a good 10 seconds last night before bedtime. When you don't stand on your own very well, 10 seconds is a long time!
He still sleeps all night and usually takes 2 naps during the day.
He loves to be in his own bed. He does alright in the crib at Mama's or the pack-n-play but we definitely see a difference when he's in his bed at home. I don't blame him!
He loves animals. He likes to watch them on TV and pet them in real life. He isn't a bit afraid of Dixie and she's very passive so they're a good match. He's even petted a cow with NO hesitation!!
I can't imagine my life without that sweet little Monster of mine. He was so worth all the waiting and tears. I love him so much it hurts sometimes. My heart swells with pride and affection every time I look at him. He's quite simply AMAZING!
I am fond of sock monkeys. Luckily, they've been making a come back in popularity and I'm enjoying it. :)
This is a sock monkey I made during a week of VBS when I was in elementary school. He doesn't have a name. I'm not sure that I ever gave him one. He now belongs to Josh and he seems to like this little monkey very much. Over the years this cute monkey has grown 2 small holes. :( Instead of "darning" him (haha!) I decided to patch him up. I think it adds to his charm.
Please pray for our friends, Dave and Jennifer. They have a very important meeting at 4 pm today!
In other bloggy news: When I signed up for blogger, I didn't have a gmail account. Now that I do, it logs me out of gmail whenever I sign in to blogger w/my other e-mail account. How do I stop this?! It's driving me crazy!
The slogan for Oreo is that it's "Milk's Favorite Cookie." Why wouldn't it be?! They're delicious and a family favorite. We love oreos! We eat them dipped in milk, dipped in white chocolate, in ice cream, crumbled on top of oreo ice cream, or even by themselves! They're considered a staple item at our house....like milk, sugar, eggs, etc. :)
I'd hate to be one of those mean Mamas who eat Oreos in front of their helpless baby and doesn't share. So I shared:
This one's going to be a rambler so prepare yourself.
Today was an early day for us. David had to be at work before 7 to get things set up for an all day meeting. They're rolling out new product (or whatever it is they roll out) and so he'll be busy this week. I went ahead & got up because I was ready for Josh to eat (if you know what I mean!) and he was still sleeping. I made breakfast for David and myself and helped clean up the kitchen before he left. I just got out of the shower and even did my hair! Josh is still sleeping (although, as soon as I post this, he's sure to wake up).
Sometimes I like getting up early. Especially when the guys are still sleeping. It's nice and quiet and I can get a few things around the house done before Josh gets up and needs my undivided attention. He sleeps all night so when he does get up, he's ready to eat and doesn't tolerate a diaper change first thing very well. But I wouldn't dare wait to change him for fear of that thing busting. We really test the no-leak protection guarantee on those diapers! :)
We've been having a hard time financially just in the past few weeks. Everything was right on track, we were paying stuff off and had money left over at the end of it all but then all of a sudden, it shifted. I've been looking for a job and would love to find one that would allow me to work from home, but would need to make at least $1000 a month to cover daycare and have money left for bills. So, we've been without our phones for a few weeks and it hasn't been all that bad. I can still call 911 if something major happens and David has a work phone we can use if necessary. My Daddy got sick and I didn't have gas money to go to him. What if it had been life threatening?! Shameful. We're getting down to bare bones in the food department but we've been creative and had some interesting dinners. We haven't gone hungry yet. We have a friend who got some "extras" when they went to the grocery store and brought them to our house. She came just in the nick of time. We were out of milk, bread and lots of other things. I cried because of what a blessing it was and also because I was a little embarrassed. We got $60 and an unsigned note in the mail yesterday. It's happened before, from different people at different times, but I'm stunned every time. God does provide for us, even when it feels like He's forgotten or is too busy. It's a bit embarrassing, to be honest. David and I feel that we're too old to be in this situation and are more scared about it now because we have Joshua to worry about. I'm thankful that he is able to nurse and we don't have to buy formula. We would never be able to afford it.
Even in this time of struggle, I feel so blessed. Even now, life is so good. My little family is healthy. Josh is growing and learning. He's such a happy baby and is the joy of my life. David is a wonderful husband and daddy. I love watching those two together. I love them so much it hurts. My parents are happy and healthy (although they boh had a bit of a falling apart last week!). Daddy's tests revealed no cancer (!!!!!) and he's already back to work, serving the lost and visiting the sick. They're encouraging and caring. And even though I don't feel like I've done anything to deserve it, they tell me they're proud of me. My brothers both have dangerous jobs and thus far, have been spared from major injury. That in itself is a major blessing. Robert loves being a firefighter and is good at it. He wouldn't want you to know, but he's a big softy. I love watching him play with Joshua. I am proud of him and his commitment to our Lord, his wife and his fellow firefighters. His wife, Kate is so sweet. She's a good match for him and I'm so thankful that she loves my brother as much as she does. Matthew enjoys being a state trooper and even though it still blows my mind to think of my baby brother doing some of the things he does while working, I am so proud of him. He loves the Lord and his family and is strong and soft at the same time. Megan, his wife, is such a good match for him. I enjoy her company very much. It's nice to have sisters. :) She's smart and thoughtful. My grandparents (all 4 of them) are alive and well. Grandaddy is getting ready to fly off to Africa on the 29th (pray for that please!) and has revivals planned until 2011 or so. Grandmama is a loyal helpmate for him, a prayer warrior and they're both such a blessing to me. Grandpa is wise and a hard worker. Grandma is quiet and strong. She's soothing to my soul by just being around her. All of my Uncles, Aunts and cousins are happy and thriving (although I do earnestly covet your prayers for my Aunt Sissy, please). We live all across NC & VA (and even TN!) and as many times as we've run th8e roads to get together, none of us have ever had an accident on the road. That's amazing, really. I am so blessed to have been born into this family and wouldn't want it any other way.
We're planning a trip to the State Fair on Friday. So far, the "We'll be there" tally is at a confirmed 12 out of 21. Joshua will get to meet cousin Jake. Jake was at OCS when Josh was born and is the only cousin Josh hasn't met. It's been a while since all 21 of us were together in one place....in fact, I don't think there were 21 of us the last time we were all together. I wish we would all pick a date and meet up. I hate us being so spread out.
Well, Josh still isn't up. He slept 13 hours Sunday night. I was a little worried he was getting sick, but he seemed fine otherwise. We'll call it a growth spurt. ;)
I have a few errands to run today. I'm glad the weather is going to warm up for a few days.
Hello world! This is my first time doing this thing called blogging. Mama is always reading other blogs and when I asked her if we had one she rolled her eyes and said 'Yes, but I haven't written on it in a long time." So I decided to take over for a little while. It's been quite a while and I've done a lot of growing since she last wrote. We've been very busy so I've got my work cut out for me in updating you guys.
I'll start in September:
I went to my first high school football game and liked it a lot. Being outside is great! There's so much to see and hear. Anytime I get upset, Daddy & Mama take me outside and I get very quiet so I can pay attention to everything out there.
When I turned 4 months old, Mama & I went to Poppa & Grammy's for the weekend and got to see Grandpa & Grandma Hand. They're my great-grandparents and I miss them a lot. Grandma is soft and quiet. She likes to hug me and thinks everything I do is awesome. Grandpa is tall and when he holds me I can see everything! He is very wise and laughs at everything I do.
The next weekend, Mama gave me some rice cereal. I loved it! I wasn't too messy and even wanted more but she said we better take it easy the first time. I also rolled over that day from my back to my belly. Daddy & Mama went crazy! I don't see what the big deal is. Once I got onto my belly, I was stuck! Daddy claims that he coached me on how to roll over and takes all the credit for my learning how. We'll let him believe that if it makes him feel better. :-)
I had my 4 month check-up 2 days before Mama's birthday. I weighed 13.7 lbs, was 24 in long and my head was 43 cm around. Mama called me big head and said she was a little disappointed in my weight but the doctor told her not to worry about it. He said I was still small for my age, but was growing right along where I had been. I also got shots, but I didn't cry too bad. Mama was right there to hold me and feed me as soon as the lady with the mean sticks left. I was calm when Daddy put me in the car seat and fell asleep on the way home. The doctor also predicted that I'll be 6 feet tall!! Mama said that sounded about right. You can guesstimate how tall your kids will be too. Here's how. Add the daddy's height in inches to the mama's height in inches and add 5. Then divide by 2. If the child is a boy, add 5 inches. Voila! You have the estimated height of your child. :-) Mama said that sounds about right because Uncle Matt & Dude are about 6' 2" or 3" and the doctor said if Mama had been a girl, she would have been 5" taller. Stay tuned to see how tall I grow!
The first weekend in October we all went to Davidson, NC for Josh & Megan's wedding. No, I didn't get married....I'm still too little. Josh and his brother and sister grew up with Mama and her brothers and he's the last of the Peters/Hand kids to get married. There's a bunch of us now! We bunked in a room at the hotel with Uncle Matt & Mae Mae. I didn't sleep very well that weekend but they didn't seem to mind. They said they never heard me the whole time. One night, while Mama was changing my diaper in her bed, I peed everywhere!! I was already screaming because she wasn't getting around to feeding me fast enough so I really let 'em have it. Daddy blocked it with his hand, which is not quite as absorbent as a diaper or the sheets!! On the day of the wedding I went shopping with Grammy, Mae Mae & Mama. We went to a huge mall called Concord Mills. It's one mile all the way around so we walked a long way. We had lunch at Macado's & I tasted a little bit of bread. It wasn't that good. Then, they ordered a Cinnamon Sensation. They didn't offer me any of that! Mama let me sit up in my car seat while they ate and I did a good job holding myself up. Then she laid me down and I rolled over. She kept telling me I was going to roll out of there and I told her that was my plan! I had more shopping to do! I was a good boy while we were there. I took a couple of naps and didn't get fussy one time....okay, so maybe the ride there was a bit of a bear but I did better going back. The wedding was lots of fun. I almost got to taste an orange crush drink. If only my arms had been a little bit longer. We did lots of dancing and it was great to see all the friends from Mama's home church. Lemoine is my favorite. I think she's my biggest fan. She has a great laugh and laughs at EVERYTHING I do!! I'm trying to convince Mama to let us keep her around. On the way home from Davidson, we stopped at Station 4 in Raleigh to see Dude at work. He's a firefighter and showed me the Engine and Ladder truck. They were awesome. I have very brave uncles.
Mama tried to feed me cereal again but I didn't want it this time. It made me gag. Mama says I have her gag reflex. She gags at yucky smells a lot.
Mama got a new toy for me from Mrs Kelly and I LOVE it!! It's a Johnny Jump-up and it's tons of fun. I get lots of exercise when I'm playing in it. My first day using it was also the day Daddy & Mama had to take me to the Emergency Room. :-( This wasn't very fun for any of us and I didn't mean to make them scared. I was trying to go to sleep on my own while Daddy was at a softball game and Mama was relaxing in her room when I started to throw up. It isn't fun and I cried a little. Puke through the nose really burns! Mama came right in and picked me up. She took off my yucky pj's and held me very close. I laid my head on her shoulder because I was so sleepy and my tummy didn't feel good. She grabbed a clean burp cloth but I told her a towel might be a better idea......just in case. Luckily, she had me around to give her this great idea because I threw up again! This time, it was green and slimy. Mama kept telling me it was okay and that she would take care of me but I could tell she was a little scared. She called Aunt Bonnie, who is basically awesome, and she started asking lots of questions about me. Mama had to poke and squeeze me a little but I didn't mind. While she was talking to Aunt Bonnie, I puked again. More green and slimy! Mama hung up and called the doctor but had to leave a message. When the doctor called back, Mama was really panicking. Daddy wasn't near his phone and wouldn't answer all of her calls. The doctor said everything sounded normal and okay for a one time fluke but that because I was so little (hey, who you callin' little?!) I should probably make a trip to the ED for a test or two. Daddy came straight home and we all got back in the car. I puked again on the way there and gagged a little. We did lots of waiting while we were there. Mama tried to feed me but I was too tired. I fell asleep and woke up to some crazy ladies holding me down to take a picture of my insides. I didn't like that too much. I could see my Mama was close but she couldn't hold me. I didn't like that part. I finally ate something after that and went back to sleep. The doctor said I was just constipated and said I could go home. All that for nothing! Oops. Mama says she's just happy nothing was really bad & I wasn't really sick. We had lots of people praying for us while we were there.
After a big poop, I was feeling much better and Mama and I got invited to the NCSU/Duke football game that Saturday! We went with Aunt Bonnie, Tiffy (my cousin) and Jennifer Parker (her sister & Mama went to MACU together). I slept all the way to Raleigh and when I woke up, we were almost at Tiffy's house. I got to have lunch there and met Riley, Tiffy's dog. He's very nice and let me pet him. Then we went to Aunt Bonnie & Uncle Doug's house. We got to see Uncle Doug's new home office. He's starting a new company and is working from home. He had gotten some new desks and bookshelves and was very excited. We went to the game and I was very sleepy. We saw the NCSU marching band come by and even though the drums were loud, I didn't cry. I watched them all walk by and laughed when they danced funny. I fell asleep when they left and Aunt Bonnie bought me a NCSU t-shirt. I can't wait to wear it! Daddy just rolled his eyes when he saw it.....he doesn't like the wolfpack. We had a great time at the game. I liked watching the guys run around on the field and Aunt Bonnie did a good job explaining the rules to me. I won't mention the score of the game for fear of Mama crying again, but we had a good time and that's all that matters. It was past my bedtime when we left to come home and I didn't want to leave. I cried in protest most of the way home.
Mama does this thing on the computer she calls Skype. It kinda confuses me. I can hear my Poppa and Grammy come out of the computer screen but can't find them. Mama says it's because they don't have a camera. I did get to see Uncle Matt & Mae Mae the other night. Mae Mae's brothers and sisters were there too. Uncle Matt made faces and they all laughed when I blew raspberries at the camera. It was fun.
Well, I turned 5 months old this past Tuesday. Mama said it went by way to fast but it feels like a lifetime to me. ;-) Mama's amazed at how much I can do now. I have the rolling thing down pat now and don't get stuck on my belly anymore. I even rolled under the chair today to see what was under there. I put myself to sleep in my swing and even sometimes in the car. I don't have to be bounced and swaddled to get to sleep anymore. I'll even fall asleep on your shoulder if you hold me just right. I sleep all night most nights and wake up happy and smiling. I do well when other people hold me. I like to play and take rides in the stroller. I love bath time and really like it when Daddy talks to me. He can make me laugh no matter what.
That about wraps it up for now. I made Mama promise she wouldn't go this long without filling you all in again. She says she'll do her best.
