Joshisms

-- Joshua: When they make ice, the water freezes to the shape of a banana and then they chop it up. 

Me: You think so?

Joshua: Well, I guess!

-- While eating salad for dinner: "Where did you even get these cumcubers? They're so good!"

-- Josh: Let's have a fiasco!

Me: (Thinking he was thinking of a different word) What's a fiasco? 

Josh: Like those parties they have?

Me: A fiesta!

Josh: Yes! Let's have that. 

-- Joshua: Why does dip go back after you draw in it? (He was eating carrots and ranch dressing and was watching it fill in where he had dipped the carrot.)

Me: *silence*

Joshua: Ask Mr Doug (Uncle Doug). He's crazy about things. 

-- While picking out a "Valenstine's Day" card for his Daddy, Joshua saw a card with Cupid shooting an unsuspecting couple and said, "Mom, look! That angel is shooting them!" 

-- Joshua: We like the Har-Teels, right Dad? 

David: Tar-Heels!!!

Joshua: Tar-Heels. I got it. 

*3 minutes later*

Joshua: Oh, I love the Har-Teels. Har-Teels? Har-Teels. Dad, we like the Har-Teels?! 

-- We kept Dixie for my parents this past week and Josh really loves her. He was her first boy and she was the first dog he spent any real time around. She's very passive and will let him do just about anything to her. He and David gave Dixie and Tank a bath and after they had dried Dixie off, I looked over and Josh was holding Dixie's face and saying, "You're a precious girl. You're such a precious girl."

-- Bodie: Josh, can you whistle?

Joshua: Yes *whistles*

Bodie: I can't. 

Joshua: That's ok, you'll get used to it. 

Joshisms

-- "He maaakessssssss stuff." (Lyrics to a song Josh was singing about God.)

-- Me: Josh, don't you and Tank get too rough in there!

Josh: I'm amn't!

-- Josh was trying to tell David something and it was taking him a minute to get the words out. David said, "Spill the beans!" Josh pretended to pour beans into the floor. A little later Josh said to David, "Dad! Pour the beans!" 

-- Joshua: It isn't Christmas time anymore. 'Cause nobody has their lights up like at Uncle Bonnie's anymore. 

Me: Yea, everybody takes their lights down after Christmas. 

Joshua: I know. Isn't it a bummer?!

-- "Thank you for our foods, thank you for our blessing and help Grandaddy to feel better...Grandad in the mountains...with no dog. And thank you for the dead mans and the babies that died with him. Yea, and amen." 

(A man named Pearson is buried across the field at Grandad & Grandmom's and when anything strange happens, we blame "Old Man Pearson" for causing it. He has two or three smaller graves near his with only head and foot stones and Josh believes there are babies buried there.)

-- "Look, Mom. I got a bebit card to put in my wallet!" (Debit card)

-- A text from Grammy: He's getting dressed now. I asked if he needed clean underwear. He said "Nope. These are good for one more day."

-- A text from Grammy: He just got dressed. I said I would take a picture. He said, "Wait let me get my shoes on. You can get the app on and take pictures of yourself while you wait for me." (I have no idea where he got the selfie idea...I do NOT take selfies.)

-- While setting up to play "Sorry", Joshua asks Tank if he wanted to play. I said, "He might want to play." Josh said, "You can't play, Tanker...you don't have any tums!" (Thumbs) 

-- While playing with Grammy's old cell phone, a Blackberry, Josh asks, "Where is the Facetime button on this thing?!"  

End of the Year Interview

Joshua made a carrot out of Play-doh

1) What is your name? Josh

2) When is your birthday? Um, I don't know. I don't remember....Saturday?

3) What is your favorite color? Gray

4) What is your favorite toy? My Hulch hands (Hulk hands). 

5) What is your favorite food? Biscuits. 

6) What is your favorite holiday? Christmas. 

7) Who is your teacher? Ummm, I don't know. (Trick question!)

8) Who is your best friend? Tank. 

9) What is your favorite song? I came in like a wreck it ball. 

10) What is your favorite book? The clock book. (Telling the Time) 

11) What was your favorite part about last year? Candy. What does "last year" mean? After explanation: Tank was my best. 

12) What are you looking forward to for this year? I want to play with Daddy. And I want to play with Tank but not him biting and teach him better. And school! I love school! 

Joshisms

While eating lunch at Bojangle's:

-- Joshua: This chicken is spicy!

Me: Yes, it is. When you were in my tummy, I couldn't eat it b/c it tasted too spicy for me. I didn't like it. But now it's not too spicy again. And I didn't like tomatoes before you were in my tummy, and now I do! Isn't that weird?

Joshua: Yea! 

Me: You changed me. 

Joshua: God changed you! 

One of the sweetest women ever passed away last month. She was the pianist at my home church for as long as I can remember and was always so encouraging me to me as I was taking piano lessons and had only nice things to say when I would play at church. I went back home for her funeral and had this conversation with Josh before I left: 

-- Me: I have to go to Grammy's church today for a funeral so you're gonna stay home with Daddy. 

Josh: Ok. What is a funeral?

Me: It's a special service people have when someone has gone to Heaven. 

Josh: Oh. And kids can't go?

Me: Well, you can go if you want but it might be boring.

David: Yea, you wouldn't understand.

Josh: Oh, ok. Uncle Doug can. 

Me: Uncle Doug can what?

Josh: He can explain it to me.

(We ask Uncle Doug a lot of hard questions b/c he's super smart and knows everything.)

While chatting about Tiffy's impending delivery of baby Liam, Josh asked me a very good question. He asked me before, right before Jackson & Holt were born, but apparently he didn't remember. As usual, we're try to answer his questions honestly and give details, when appropriate, instead of just glossing over. I'm sure Tiff will be glad to know Josh sympathizes with her about the pain of giving birth! ;)

-- Joshua: Mom, how do babies come out?

Me: They come out of their Mama's vagina. 

Joshua: What's a bagina?

Me: Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.

Joshua: But that would hurt, though!

Me: Yes, yes it would. 

-- While working on getting a fire started in the fire pit, Claire was stoking the fire with a stick. Josh asked what she was doing and could he do it. She said, "I'm using this to stoke it." Josh said, "I want a 'stoke it'!" 

I'm attempting to use an Advent plan this year that involves making an ornament each day. This is right up Josh's alley, as he loves art. 

-- Grammy: What ornament did you make today?

Joshua: It was a Mary. 

Grammy: What did Mary tell the angel?

Josh: Umm...

Grammy: The angel told Mary she was going to have a baby. And what did Mary say? 'I am....'

Josh: Too?

Grammy: Hahaha, no! The angel wasn't gonna have a baby, Mary was. Mary said, 'I am God's servant.' 

Josh LOVES cheese. I mean, loves it. He'd eat it at every meal and snacks inbetween if we'd let him. One of his favorite ways to eat cheese isnin the form of queso! 

-- Joshua's recipe for queso: Put your cheese in the oven. Let it toast for a minute. Boom, it looks like queso. Eat it!

Joshisms

-- Robert and Kate are expecting another baby this Spring! While talking about the new baby over dinner, Robert asked Josh if he wanted Kate to have a boy baby or a girl baby. Josh replied, "A boy baby! You pray about that!" 

-- While having a nice long stretch after waking up: "Oh, man. I haven't stretched in two years!"

-- While watching tv, a dog food commercial came on comparing dog food brands and Josh asked me, "How do you know how to get the right food?" That's exactly what I was thinking!

-- Driving past a car dealership: "Oh man, look at all that traffic!"

-- Me: Let's see how many colors we can name.
Joshua: Okay. Blue.
Me: Green.
Joshua: Purple.
Me: Yellow.
Joshua: Hazel.
Me: ???

-- On the way home from the family reunion last July, Josh was getting antsy from all the riding (the reunion was in Kentucky) and Poppa started telling ghost stories to keep Josh occupied. He told Josh a story about "The Man With the Golden Arm." Josh has retold this story ever since and has gotten better and better at it. Sometimes the story changes a little and it's quite comical. He told the story to Tank (his puppy) the other night and it went something like this: "One night...an old man was walkin' down the tracks and got his arm cut off. He spent a lot of money and got a golden arm. When he died, some bald-headed kids stole his golden arm. They went camping and heard a noise: 'Who's got my golden arm?' And it got louder, 'Who's got my golden arm?' And it got louder, 'Who's got my golden arm? YOU'VE GOT IT!"

-- Joshua has NEVER wanted to pick his nose. We've always had to bribe him or hold him down to get all those boogers out so he can breathe. His Aunt Megan even paid him a dollar to pick his nose once! ;) I told Josh at dinner the other night that we needed to get his boogers out so he could breath with his mouth closed. He said, "No! They're having a party in there!"

-- Josh was watching me make dinner and I put some lima beans in the pan. He asked what they were and I told him. He said, "Lima beans?? Like that girl with the stripes book!?!" Yes!! (A Bad Case of Stripes)

-- Joshua and I were talking about good guys and bad guys and how bad guys don't always look like the bad guys on tv. Sometimes, they look like good guys.
Joshua: That's kinda cool.
Me: No, it's not.
Joshua: It's a little bit cool.
Me: No, not even a little bit.
Joshua: It's like this much cool. (And held up his fingers to show how much.)

Joshisms

-- Josh and I were talking about his having to wait until spring to play soccer because it was too late to sign up for fall and he said, "In the spring, Grandaddy will be all better! I really love that guy."

-- Brenda was talking about Emily wanting to have breakfast at her wedding reception and I showed her a photo of the most adorable baby pancakes stacked up with a blueberry on top and Brenda said "I don't know; that would take so long to make and then they'd be cold...it's stressing me out and she doesn't even have a ring yet!" Just then her phone rang and Joshua piped up with "There's your ring, right there!" 

Update: Emily and Jason were engaged last week! :-D

-- "I love Daddy, and I love Mama, and myself loves me."

-- Me: Good morning! How'd you sleep? 

Joshua: Good. 

Me: Did you have good dreams?

Joshua: Yes. 

Me: What did you dream about?

Joshua: Us going to Sweet Frog...with Beth. 

Me: With Beth?!?!

Joshua: Yes! I love Beth. She's my girlfriend. 

Me: But she's married!

Joshua: I know, but she's still my girlfriend!

Me: Oh, ok. Why do you love Beth?

Joshua: Because she looks pretty. 

Me: Is that the only reason? It isn't because she's kind, or thoughtful, or because she loves Jesus?

Joshua: No. Just because she looks pretty. 

(David laughing)

Joshua: Um, we weren't talking to you, Dad!

(Beth is my cousin's wife and Josh has been in love with her for at least half of his life.)

-- We found a hopgrasser! (Grasshopper) 

-- While holding and observing a grasshopper:

Joshua: Where is his tongue? 

Me: I don't know. I'm not sure grasshoppers have a tongue.

Joshua: How do they taste their food?!

Me: Oh. Good question. Let's google it!

-- "That lady is so pretty that I cannot believe it."

-- Josh and I were snuggling before bed and got to goofing off, as usually happens. He was SO sleepy and a little slaphappy. We were making loud kissy noises in each other's ears and through a giggle, he said "We haven't done this in years!" :)

-- Joshua: Are we taking a shower here? (The new house)

Me: Um...we'll probably just take a bird bath because the tub hasn't been cleaned yet. 

Josh: *gasp!!* But, I won't fit!

-- While making dinner, I pulled out a few spices for Josh to smell. When we got to the curry powder (one of my favorite smells) he said "Aahhh, that smells like I'm having a good dream." 

Joshisms

-- "Mary & Jovis" (Mary and Joseph)

-- While at the beach: "It's hot. It's like a desert out here!"

-- Grammy: Whatcha gonna preach about? 

Joshua: I'm thinking in my head!

-- "When I am a grown up and you are not dead yet, maybe we can live at the beach."

-- "When I have a baby I might name him Finn. Cause Finn is soooo cute."

-- "I just got off the phone with the Sweet Frog frog. He said if I'm a good boy, he will deliver some ice cream to me."

-- We were watching a cooking show and the chef was making a chocolate mouse pie. He poured the chocolate mouse into the pan and Josh said "Can you lick that bowl for me?!" 

-- Joshua: Guess what? When we die, we will go to Heaven and there is no night time there. 

Me: Oh cool! 

Joshua: And it's daytime always. And I'm sorry, but there are no toys. 

Me: Well, what will we do? 

Joshua: I don't know. Maybe play with the breads. It says no food in Heaven but bread is food and bread will be there.

(He is VERY interested in the bread and juice at communion on Sundays.)

-- "Mom, I'm sorry, but when you go to heaven you can't have any babies in your tummy. The Bible says that."

-- Joshua: Dad, are you allergic to cats?

David: Yes, very much so. (He isn't really allergic, he just doesn't like cats and doesn't want J to have one.)

Joshua: I can't have a cat?? Awww, bummer! Maybe I can get one when you die and I get a new parent. 

David: Gee, thanks.

Joshua: I love you, Dad. 

-- Joshua: Is Aunt Bonnie still there? (At her house.)

Me: Yes

Joshua: I love her.