Joshisms

-- This is probably TMI but: "Mommy, really really bad poop came out of my butt! And it was fast! It was a stomat ache."

-- After a public safety officer at the mall gave Josh a sticker badge, Josh said "That police man was very polite!"

-- While eating an ice cream cone: "This cone part smells like the choo-choo place. With the thomas train table." (Barnes & noble)

-- "I wish I could be a waitress. That would be cool."

-- Josh: When I burp, it makes me laugh.
Me: Why?
Josh: Because I think it is funny!

-- After I laid over on him while on the couch: "I'm not a pillow. I'm a people!"

-- Joshua was watching videos of himself playing baseball when he was younger & said "Man, look at me go! Look at that handsome boy!" (We clearly have no self-esteem issues here!)

-- Joshua and I walk/ran the mile at the CCF 5K last weekend and seconds after crossing the finish line he said "Now who wants to get some lunch or some snack?!"

-- Me: Look at that pretty sunset.
Josh: Uh, that gives me the headache!

-- "makuna nanata"

-- While watching a slug slide across my Uncle's porch, Josh said "Man, look at him go!"

-- I overheard Josh singing a silly song to himself. It went something like this: I am a parachute and I poot. (We love to rhyme around here.) :) 

Joshisms

-- Eyebrogs = Eyebrows

-- Josh and I went to a Farm Day event put on by NCSU last week. When we got there, a man helping direct parking gave me directions to an empty spot. As we pulled away from him Josh said "He sounds like a farm man!" (He did have a very country accent.) 

-- I asked Josh to put his plate in the sink after he finished his lunch and he replied with: "Sure, you majashe." (Majesty....he may be on to something, there!) :)

-- Our friend, Jennifer, and her son, Nate, came to visit us one day last week. Nate has glasses and Josh was asking me several questions about Nate's glasses before they got here. He asked if Nate can see without them, if he wears them when he sleeps, etc. Then he asked "Does it look blondy when Nate takes his glasses off?" He meant "blurry." ;)

-- While eating lunch at Pullen Park last week, an inch worm fell on my lap from out of a tree. I showed it to Josh and he was very interested in it. He said "Oh, it's a tiny little callapida!"

-- We watched a movie about insects last week and when a dung beetle came on the screen I asked if he remembered what that insect was called. He said "Yes, poop bugs." Close enough. ;)

-- Josh: Let me tell you a joke.
Me: Okay
Josh: Do you like spiders?
Me: No!
Josh: To eat!!! 
(I don't get it either but I laughed my head off.)

-- "You need a light night."

-- We had two baptisms after church last week (Woo hoo!) and when Josh asked what was going to happen I explained that someone was going to be baptized. He said "Oh, are we gonna watch them get bafftived?" 

-- Grammy: When you're taller than me will you still hug me and let me hug you and kiss you?
Josh: Sure!
Grammy: Will you love me when I'm old?
Josh: Yeah! You're old now!

-- Josh and I babysat my nephew, Jackson, last Tuesday. On Wednesday, we went over to Jackson's house to hang out for a little while. When we got there, Josh went over to where Jackson was playing and said "Hey Jackson, remember me?" 

This place is a zoo...

Josh and I went to the NC Zoo with Poppa and Grammy at the beginning of the month. It was a zoo!! It was the first day of spring break, the "opening day" for the giraffe deck, dinosaurs, etc and the nicest day of the week, weather wise so all of North Carolina was there! Despite the crowd, we had a good time and got to see almost all of the animals. The giraffes weren't out because it had rained the day before and their exhibit was slippery. They're prone to leg injuries if they slip and fall so they had to stay in. I was very disappointed  They're my favorite zoo animal! 

The ostriches were out and enjoying the green grass. They're so big and a good example of God's sense of humor. ;)

We stopped by the lion's exhibit and they had just been fed. The female lion came over and took the bone the male lion was gnawing on. He just laid down and pouted.

We went over to the apes from there (If it doesn't have a tail it's not a monkey....) but they were huddled all together on the far side of the exhibit so we couldn't see them very easily. Josh asked a million questions about what they were doing; grooming, chasing, etc. He especially liked the ape sculptures right outside the exhibit. 

The lemurs are always fun to watch! They were climbing up and down the rocks and bending those small trees down to munch on the leaves. The one closest to us sat like a human for a while and Josh thought that was funny.

The zoo has two baby gorillas! One was born on Aug 4 (my brother's birthday!) and the other was born on Aug 31st. They. Are. Adorable! I couldn't get a very good photo of either of them (again, the crowd was insane) but they were fun to watch. The one in the first photo is sitting in a water tub with his Mama. He splashed and played while she supervised. She looked bored to death and even propped her head on her arm. Maybe she was catching a catnap. ;) 

Before we got to the zoo, I explained to Josh how Mama gorillas carry their babies and then he got to see it live and in person! He thinks it's amazing that the babies don't fall off. Isn't that the most adorable gorilla baby you've ever seen?? 

We got to visit the Dinosaur exhibit and Josh was really impressed.  I wasn't worried about him feeling scared or nervous. He love to pretend but is very matter of fact about most things. 

Josh and Grammy pretended to be afraid of the dinosaur. ;) 

All of the dinosaurs moved and made noise. This one looked fun. 

These were the most real. They hissed and moved. They look so evil!

There was a fossil pit and Josh and Grammy spent a few minutes digging around for bones. Several people around us found shark's teeth, etc. 

Josh found a huge bear to climb on. He's crazy.

Mama took some photos with her camera and by the time we got to North America I had put the camera away and forgot to take it back out. Oops.  Anyway, we had a great time and Josh was very well behaved the whole day. I was proud of his patience and good listening skills. He's a really good kid.

Joshisms

-- Josh saw something amazing today and said "Well, damn!" I was shocked and asked where he heard it. He said someone on TV said it. Anyway...I explained that it was a bad word and we didn't use those words in this house. My very literal child replied, "What about outside?" *sigh*

-- I took Josh into the dressing room with me a few weeks ago while I tried on a few things. Ever the encourager, he said "That looks flabulous, Mom!"

-- Claire came for the weekend over Easter and brought Josh some freeze pops. On the way home from church he said "Let's go home and eat some ice pockles!"

-- While we made lunch on Easter Sunday, Josh ate some pineapple that had been on the ham. He really likes fruit and when I asked if the pineapple was good, he said "Yes. I like the spiky apples better." (English is hard and pineapples have no business being called any kind of apple! It's too confusing!)

-- On our way to the zoo last week with Poppa & Grammy (I'm working on a post about that), Josh and Grammy were having great discussions in the back seat. I overheard Grammy ask Josh if he ever cries. "Yes," he said "When I yong sometimes water comes out." (yawn)

-- Josh and I went with Mama to visit Grandad and Grandmom last week. Josh and Grandmom had a discussion about false teeth and it was quite hilarious. He didn't seem like he was sure about the whole idea but it made quite an impression on him. Later that evening as we all got ready to go to bed Josh told Grandmom a scary ghost story. It went something like this: "One night. One spooky night, there was witches and all their teeth can come out. And their heart got big and big and that's how they got witchy. I'm serious! And when their heart gets small, they get nice and nice and nice."

-- While playing the piano at Grandmom's, Josh made up a song called "Witches of the Bible."

-- "Mom, I don't like meatballs. I'm sorry, but God just made me like that. It is serious and I just don't like them!"

-- Josh saw a Weight Watcher's commercial with Jennifer Hudson on it and said "Man, she is screeeaaaming!"

-- While eating supper outside one evening, we had the rope lights plugged it and it was all cute and festive. Josh said "The lights are so pretty. I wanna put them in my tummy." I told him that if he did he would glow like Rudolph and when he pooped it would be glow poop. He said "That could be cool!"

-- Upon hearing a cricket outside: "I'm mad at that cricket. He hurts my feelings. That singing makes me go nuts."

Joshisms

-- Joshua colored a palm leaf in his class at church Sunday. He loves it and has carried it around all week. Today, while I was making dinner, he came in with the palm leaf and said "Mom, did you know the people put their palm trees on the ground for Jesus to walk over?!" I said yes and asked if he remembered what the people said as Jesus came by. He didn't so I told him "Hosanna! Hosanna!" He said "Oh yea...Hosamma, Hosamma, here comes Jesus!" 

-- While watching Willy Wonka (the original movie...like there's any other version worth watching), Josh said "Santa don't make the candy he brings. Willy Wonka makes it and Santa brings it. Santa makes the toys only."

-- While goading David to wrestle, Josh says to him "You want a piece of steak?!!" (You want a piece of me. Josh thought it was "piece of meat")

-- Joshua and I had lunch with my Uncle Doug a few Sundays ago while Aunt Bonnie and David were off playing at the basketball tournament. We were deciding where to eat lunch and Josh suggested Chick-fil-a. I told him that they were closed on Sundays and he asked "Is it Sunday?" 


-- "Mom, you say the blessing.....pinky please??"

-- We took Josh to the MonsterJam a few weeks ago. His favorite monster truck is Grave Digger and he was thrilled to see THE Grave Digger but he was really impressed that there were cars for the trucks to drive over. He was telling Uncle Doug about it at lunch and their conversation went something like this:
Uncle Doug: Was it your car that the trucks drove over?
Josh: No! Not my car.
Uncle Doug: Well, it wasn't my car, either. If it wasn't your car and it wasn't my car, whose car was it?
Josh: Well, when old people die, the monster truck people go get their car and take it to the show and run over it.

-- We've done some geocaching recently and one of the "treasures" we found in a cache was a little toy praying mantis with no head (must be a male mantis...). Josh loves to play with it but can't seem to get the name right. He keeps calling it a "Pocahontas." 

-- "Wanna hear a joke? If a monster comes to the pool, they will put him under the water and then put him on the ceiling." (I have no idea what he's talking about but it was his first made up joke and I laughed like a fool.) ;)

Joshisms

-- "Mom, look at that sunshine. It is so bright. That's how much I love you, Mom."

-- On the way home from Henderson, Josh said: "Mom, are we almost home? I'm so boring!" (He usually says he's "exciting" instead of "excited" so I assume he did the same with "boring" and "bored".)

-- While at Grandma's last week I asked Josh what color towel he wanted for his bath. He requested blue and when I offered two different blue towels, a light blue and a dark blue, he said "I don't want the sunny blue one."

-- Grandma, Aunt Sissy and I were in Sissy's living room talking last week. Josh came in with a toy firetruck and asked Sissy a question about it. She answered him and he responded with an "Oohhhh." She laughed and asked "Where did he get this 'Oohh?'" Before I could answer, Josh piped up with "I got it from in the kitchen!" (Thinking she was asking about the firetruck.)

-- Josh overheard me telling Sissy that I didn't want to give him a cough suppressant because his cough was productive but he wasn't getting any rest. He looked at me quizzically and asked "A coffee present??"

-- Josh and I love to listen to music in the car. He likes to pretend to play the guitar or drums while we sing. Somehow we got on the topic of (cousin) Chris playing the guitar. I told him that Beth plays an instrument, too and asked if he remembered which one she played. He said "Bef plays the drums. Why does she? Because she likes it? I like her. I loooooove her. I love her because she is pretty."

-- "This popsicle shivers me!"

-- Josh: Dad, did you eat all dat hamburger?!

   David: Yes.

   Josh: You pump!! (punk)

-- "I have a wife. She is pretty. She put lot of makeups on her face and her cheek and her chin. And on her lips and her eyes. And her feet. And her eyes is soooo pretty. She is a power ranger, too. She's the pink one. She's the pretty pink one. And I'm blue. I'm the dark blue one....I mean, I'm the sunny blue one. I'm the mascot for the shiny blue team."  (Don't ask...I have no idea!)

Joshisms

-- "Hey Mom, I saw a flying star!! (Shooting star)

-- Josh comes from a long line of biters. We don't bite out of anger and we just can't help it. There's something inside that tells us we just HAVE to bite. Noses, ears, toes...oh, especially baby toes! Josh has been bitten since he was born, as was I, as was my mother & her father before her. The Hall in us can't help it. Aunt Bonnie, who was a Hall & married a Hall, is the biggest biter of us all! Josh always wears a hoodie over to her house to protect his ears from her bites. ;) She had been away for a couple of weeks and when we left to go over and see her I told Josh that I bet she couldn't wait to bite his ears. Josh said, "Do Aunt Bonnie bite my ear & dat how her kiss?" Yep, that's about right!

-- Josh: Mama, is that commercial correct?
Me: Which commercial?
Josh: That one when the son says 'where do babies come from?' and the daddy says 'from up in space and they fall down from the sky' and the son says 'but mommy says babies come from a tummy and let's sing a song about a school bus'. Is it correct?

(Crazy, insane, ridiculously good memory!)

-- Josh & I were watching Rachel Ray's show the other day and she made her version of New York style nachos. She said that she loved onions and said something about piling them on a hot dog. She later referred to the hot dog as a "dog" (you know, because she abbreviates EVERYTHING) & it really bothered Josh. He said, "I wish I was there so I could tell her it's a HOT DOG."

-- "See this skateboard? It was my grandpa's and he let me have it and I been riding it a long time and it says spiderman."

-- Josh: I don't hear your heart beeping.
Me: That means I'm dead!
Josh: You are...I'm sorry.

-- After I replaced the lightbulb in Josh's closet he said, "Thank you, Mama. Thank you so much for my help."

-- "Cinderella is very beautiful. I really want to marry her."

-- Our waitress: I'll see you later.
Josh: I will see YOU lata!

-- Josh came into the salon after I had gotten my haircut. He didn't recognize me and I had to call him back over. He stared at me for a minute and said, "You didn't look like our Mommy, Mommy!"

-- "Tinkabell is my girlfriend. I think I'm gonna marry her. We're gonna get married at Disney World."

-- "Grandma, do you have any coffee drops?" (Cough drops)