Joshisms

-- Gymnaskits (gymnastics)

-- I taught Josh the Pete & Repeat joke last week. He attempted to tell it back to me later and this is how he told it: "Pete fell out and Repeat fell out. And know what was left? Golds! They stole it. They're pirates. But they're nice pirates so they have a magic broom that they bought from a man. They sweep the walls & floors and clean everything up. And they gave the gold back." 

-- Josh used some of his birthday money to buy a snorkel and mask. He's been dying to try it out in the pool but just can't work up the courage. We keep trying to get him to practice in the bathtub. Anyway, Josh & I were at the pool one day last week and David met us there when he got home from work. Josh asked me to text David to please bring the snorkel when he came out but he forgot. Josh didn't notice until a while later and was quick to reprimand his Dad. "You didn't bring my snortle!" ;) 

-- David & Josh were playing "doctor" and Josh had given David a very elaborate bandage complete with a prescription. Later on that evening, David mentioned that something hurt (I don't really remember.) Josh heard him and said "Oh, ok. So I need to do the doctor thing again?"

-- On our way to a birthday party Saturday afternoon, we drove by North Hills mall. I commented that I had forgotten about the farmer's market being out there that morning and should have gone by to get a few things. They were also building a sand sculpture under a huge tent. I pointed it out to Josh and he said, "That's where Chick-fil-a is!" (There is a Chick-fil-a next to where the tent was.) David said, "The kid knows where every Chick-fil-a is. "Yep," I said, "He's got his Poppa's built in Chick-fil-a locator." To which Josh responded, "And Sweet Frog, too!" 

-- J: I wish I had bunk beds. 

Me: Yea, that would be cool. Dude & Matt used to have bunk beds. 

J: Oh cool! When Matt would go to Dude's house? 

Me: No, when they were kids. They shared a room & had bunk beds. 

J: Where did they live? 

Me: With Poppa & Grammy. When we were kids, we lived with our parents. Just like you live with your parents. 

J: Where was I? 

Me: You weren't born yet. 

J: Was Mae Mae there? 

Me: No. She lived with her family. 

J: Was Grammy a kid, too? 

Me: No, she was a grown up. Grammy's been a grown up longer than me & Dude & Matt. 

J: Oh! You were the children and Poppa & Grammy were your parents?? 

(A few things I love about this little conversation: Josh thinks he's always been around, he thinks all 3 of his Aunts have always been a part of our family, and he thinks all adults are the same age and therefore must have all been kids at the same time.) 

-- Let's go to the "bowling action"! (This is what Josh calls the bowling alley.)  

-- J: Will you rub my feet? 

Me: *petting them lightly just to be silly* 

J: That's how you pet a cat! Do it like this...

-- Hallejulah! (With hands raised and eyes closed...and very Southern-like.) ;) 

-- While playing a game of Sorry!, (Which Josh calls "I'm Sorry") he got an 11 card, which says to move 11 places OR change places with an opponent. It was just the two of us playing and I didn't have any pawns on the board. He was very upset because I told him he'd have to just move 11 spaces. He said, "But Mom, I know I can move 11 but I want to change with a ponnent!" He's Ser. I. Ous. about "I'm Sorry!" 

-- Josh is slowly starting to say things the right way. It's sad when he said the right word for something all of a sudden. He doesn't always call soda "spicy drink" anymore and thinks it's hilarious that one of our friends calls it "pop." ;) He does still say "lemlade" (lemonade) & "Hultch" (Hulk). :) 

Joshisms

-- While eating a burrito: "Man, that britto is spiceheh!" (He commonly ends his words -heh. It's hard to type but sounds hilarious.)

-- "Mama, wanna play tootsie with me?" (He meant play footsie)

-- Me: The party is floating, so we'll be done before dinner.
Josh: But, Mom, is it on the earth?

-- Josh: Cut my tongue.
Me: No! If you didn't have a tongue, you couldn't talk or eat.
Josh: Yea, or taste!
Me: How did you know that?
Josh: Because I'm an artist. A mouth artist.
Me: What does a mouth artist do?
Josh: I fix mouths.

-- "Girls are weird!"

-- Josh to a friend: We sing that song at *mumble mumble*.
Me: At where?
Josh: At *mumble mumble*.
Me: Where??
Josh: AT YOUR MAMA'S HOUSE!!!

-- "Know what? Some suns have no sticky out things on them!"

-- "See that black sheshell? It's not a sheshell. It's called *dramatic pause* shark bone!"

-- Josh: How do birds scratch their butts?
Me: I'm not sure.
Josh: I think maybe they drag their butt on the ground like a dog.

-- While playing the game "Sorry":
Josh: Why did Davis give me I'm Sorry?
Me: Because he knew you liked to play that game.
Josh: Did Aunt Bonnie tell him? (He always plays Sorry at her house.)
Me: No, I told his Mama. I knew most of your birthday presents.
Josh: *gasp!* WHAT????!!!!
Me: I knew you were getting a sandbox. Remember that day we went to the office because I had to ask Ms Laurie and Ms Unique (yes, that's really her name...) a question? I was asking if you could have a sandbox at our apartment.
Josh: I didn't know that!
Me: I know! I spelled it.
Josh: Why?
Me: Because I didn't want you to know what I was saying and you can't spell.
Josh: Haha, that's funny!

Messages to God

We met Daddy & Mama in Henderson for dinner Tuesday night and Josh was drawing and writing on his dry erase board on the way home. We started talking about prayer. We talked about how praying was just talking to God and we could do it anytime and anyplace. I told Josh that God loves to hear Josh pray to Him. We talked about what you can pray about. Josh was very interested in the whole idea. He does have lots of questions about why God doesn't speak audibly to us. He really wants to hear God and I can't say I blame him!

Joshua asked if we could write messages to God. I asked what he meant. He said "You know, like I can write a message and God can read it?" "Yes," I told him, "God can see the messages you write. He knows what you think before you even say it so you can definitely write messages to Him." So, he did.

At first, Josh "wrote" his messages and said what he was writing out loud. He asked me to repeat what he was saying so God would hear it.  I explained to Josh that I didn't have to intercede for him; he could pray straight to God himself. He was thrilled with that information! :) So, he set to writing a new message on his own. He did still speak it out loud and this is what he said: "Hi God and Jesus. I'm Josh. I know you love me and I love you, too. I was born in my Mama's tummy. Her name is Lynn, actually. Could you love her, too? (pause) 'Yes!' Mom, Jesus said 'Yes!' I heard Him talk to me in my body."

It was such a sweet moment. I cried quietly in the front seat as my precious child prayed for God to please love his Mama. I remind Joshua daily that the God of the universe loves him more than I ever could but I so often forget to remind myself. 

Thank you, my thoughtful child, for a gentle reminder for my weary heart. And thank you Lord, that You love me in my humanness. 

Joshisms

-- This is probably TMI but: "Mommy, really really bad poop came out of my butt! And it was fast! It was a stomat ache."

-- After a public safety officer at the mall gave Josh a sticker badge, Josh said "That police man was very polite!"

-- While eating an ice cream cone: "This cone part smells like the choo-choo place. With the thomas train table." (Barnes & noble)

-- "I wish I could be a waitress. That would be cool."

-- Josh: When I burp, it makes me laugh.
Me: Why?
Josh: Because I think it is funny!

-- After I laid over on him while on the couch: "I'm not a pillow. I'm a people!"

-- Joshua was watching videos of himself playing baseball when he was younger & said "Man, look at me go! Look at that handsome boy!" (We clearly have no self-esteem issues here!)

-- Joshua and I walk/ran the mile at the CCF 5K last weekend and seconds after crossing the finish line he said "Now who wants to get some lunch or some snack?!"

-- Me: Look at that pretty sunset.
Josh: Uh, that gives me the headache!

-- "makuna nanata"

-- While watching a slug slide across my Uncle's porch, Josh said "Man, look at him go!"

-- I overheard Josh singing a silly song to himself. It went something like this: I am a parachute and I poot. (We love to rhyme around here.) :) 

Joshisms

-- Eyebrogs = Eyebrows

-- Josh and I went to a Farm Day event put on by NCSU last week. When we got there, a man helping direct parking gave me directions to an empty spot. As we pulled away from him Josh said "He sounds like a farm man!" (He did have a very country accent.) 

-- I asked Josh to put his plate in the sink after he finished his lunch and he replied with: "Sure, you majashe." (Majesty....he may be on to something, there!) :)

-- Our friend, Jennifer, and her son, Nate, came to visit us one day last week. Nate has glasses and Josh was asking me several questions about Nate's glasses before they got here. He asked if Nate can see without them, if he wears them when he sleeps, etc. Then he asked "Does it look blondy when Nate takes his glasses off?" He meant "blurry." ;)

-- While eating lunch at Pullen Park last week, an inch worm fell on my lap from out of a tree. I showed it to Josh and he was very interested in it. He said "Oh, it's a tiny little callapida!"

-- We watched a movie about insects last week and when a dung beetle came on the screen I asked if he remembered what that insect was called. He said "Yes, poop bugs." Close enough. ;)

-- Josh: Let me tell you a joke.
Me: Okay
Josh: Do you like spiders?
Me: No!
Josh: To eat!!! 
(I don't get it either but I laughed my head off.)

-- "You need a light night."

-- We had two baptisms after church last week (Woo hoo!) and when Josh asked what was going to happen I explained that someone was going to be baptized. He said "Oh, are we gonna watch them get bafftived?" 

-- Grammy: When you're taller than me will you still hug me and let me hug you and kiss you?
Josh: Sure!
Grammy: Will you love me when I'm old?
Josh: Yeah! You're old now!

-- Josh and I babysat my nephew, Jackson, last Tuesday. On Wednesday, we went over to Jackson's house to hang out for a little while. When we got there, Josh went over to where Jackson was playing and said "Hey Jackson, remember me?" 

This place is a zoo...

Josh and I went to the NC Zoo with Poppa and Grammy at the beginning of the month. It was a zoo!! It was the first day of spring break, the "opening day" for the giraffe deck, dinosaurs, etc and the nicest day of the week, weather wise so all of North Carolina was there! Despite the crowd, we had a good time and got to see almost all of the animals. The giraffes weren't out because it had rained the day before and their exhibit was slippery. They're prone to leg injuries if they slip and fall so they had to stay in. I was very disappointed  They're my favorite zoo animal! 

The ostriches were out and enjoying the green grass. They're so big and a good example of God's sense of humor. ;)

We stopped by the lion's exhibit and they had just been fed. The female lion came over and took the bone the male lion was gnawing on. He just laid down and pouted.

We went over to the apes from there (If it doesn't have a tail it's not a monkey....) but they were huddled all together on the far side of the exhibit so we couldn't see them very easily. Josh asked a million questions about what they were doing; grooming, chasing, etc. He especially liked the ape sculptures right outside the exhibit. 

The lemurs are always fun to watch! They were climbing up and down the rocks and bending those small trees down to munch on the leaves. The one closest to us sat like a human for a while and Josh thought that was funny.

The zoo has two baby gorillas! One was born on Aug 4 (my brother's birthday!) and the other was born on Aug 31st. They. Are. Adorable! I couldn't get a very good photo of either of them (again, the crowd was insane) but they were fun to watch. The one in the first photo is sitting in a water tub with his Mama. He splashed and played while she supervised. She looked bored to death and even propped her head on her arm. Maybe she was catching a catnap. ;) 

Before we got to the zoo, I explained to Josh how Mama gorillas carry their babies and then he got to see it live and in person! He thinks it's amazing that the babies don't fall off. Isn't that the most adorable gorilla baby you've ever seen?? 

We got to visit the Dinosaur exhibit and Josh was really impressed.  I wasn't worried about him feeling scared or nervous. He love to pretend but is very matter of fact about most things. 

Josh and Grammy pretended to be afraid of the dinosaur. ;) 

All of the dinosaurs moved and made noise. This one looked fun. 

These were the most real. They hissed and moved. They look so evil!

There was a fossil pit and Josh and Grammy spent a few minutes digging around for bones. Several people around us found shark's teeth, etc. 

Josh found a huge bear to climb on. He's crazy.

Mama took some photos with her camera and by the time we got to North America I had put the camera away and forgot to take it back out. Oops.  Anyway, we had a great time and Josh was very well behaved the whole day. I was proud of his patience and good listening skills. He's a really good kid.

Joshisms

-- Josh saw something amazing today and said "Well, damn!" I was shocked and asked where he heard it. He said someone on TV said it. Anyway...I explained that it was a bad word and we didn't use those words in this house. My very literal child replied, "What about outside?" *sigh*

-- I took Josh into the dressing room with me a few weeks ago while I tried on a few things. Ever the encourager, he said "That looks flabulous, Mom!"

-- Claire came for the weekend over Easter and brought Josh some freeze pops. On the way home from church he said "Let's go home and eat some ice pockles!"

-- While we made lunch on Easter Sunday, Josh ate some pineapple that had been on the ham. He really likes fruit and when I asked if the pineapple was good, he said "Yes. I like the spiky apples better." (English is hard and pineapples have no business being called any kind of apple! It's too confusing!)

-- On our way to the zoo last week with Poppa & Grammy (I'm working on a post about that), Josh and Grammy were having great discussions in the back seat. I overheard Grammy ask Josh if he ever cries. "Yes," he said "When I yong sometimes water comes out." (yawn)

-- Josh and I went with Mama to visit Grandad and Grandmom last week. Josh and Grandmom had a discussion about false teeth and it was quite hilarious. He didn't seem like he was sure about the whole idea but it made quite an impression on him. Later that evening as we all got ready to go to bed Josh told Grandmom a scary ghost story. It went something like this: "One night. One spooky night, there was witches and all their teeth can come out. And their heart got big and big and that's how they got witchy. I'm serious! And when their heart gets small, they get nice and nice and nice."

-- While playing the piano at Grandmom's, Josh made up a song called "Witches of the Bible."

-- "Mom, I don't like meatballs. I'm sorry, but God just made me like that. It is serious and I just don't like them!"

-- Josh saw a Weight Watcher's commercial with Jennifer Hudson on it and said "Man, she is screeeaaaming!"

-- While eating supper outside one evening, we had the rope lights plugged it and it was all cute and festive. Josh said "The lights are so pretty. I wanna put them in my tummy." I told him that if he did he would glow like Rudolph and when he pooped it would be glow poop. He said "That could be cool!"

-- Upon hearing a cricket outside: "I'm mad at that cricket. He hurts my feelings. That singing makes me go nuts."