Monday, May 3, 2010

Stuck

I feel stuck. I can't seem to get ahead! It's not just one area of my life...it's several. I feel cast out, left behind, alone. I KNOW I'm not. I KNOW I have lots of friends and family who love me. But right now, it doesn't feel like I do.

I got some good news at work a few weeks ago. A lady who works there quit. She works on commission and the work just wasn't there so she wasn't making money. It's the risk you take when you work for commission. That meant I got somewhat of a promotion. The promise of more hours a week, a little heavier work load, an office of my own (instead of the front room of our offices), and a possible pay raise. I was excited. I was proud. I felt like I had shown my work ethic and it had been rewarded. Then....my co-worker "renegotiated" her hours and is now working 1 day a week. She keeps her office....I don't get the promise of 20 hrs a week, we're now taking it "week by week" to see how it goes. I'm supposedly still getting a pay raise but don't know how much it will be. Anything would help I suppose. I have my 60 day review this Wed (unless that changes for the 3rd time!) ;) and will talk about when I'll be working, how much I'll make, etc, etc, etc. We talked today about going from 3 short days (10-4) to two long days (8-5) so I still get at least the 15 hours I NEED and can afford to pay my sitter!

I don't like to be stuck in the middle of things. I want them to start and then finish. Not be just hanging out in between. It's stressful and I don't do stressful very well.

Just as a side note: I STILL can't get blogger to keep me signed in with my suddenlink e-mail and my gmail logged in at the same time. When I sign in to blogger it logs me out of gmail every time. I can't change my current blogger e-mail address (suddenlink) w/out deleting my current blog and everything on it to change it to my gmail address. *sigh* Why must everything be so hard?!