Joshisms

-- The only thing Josh consistently asked for Santa to bring him was a "merote control car."

-- Josh went on a Star Wars kick and we watched the whole series in one weekend. Here are a few Star Wars related Joshisms: light saver (light saber), Dark Vader (the bad guy), Star Bores (some people would argue that this should be the name of the series...I don't agree.) ;)

-- We had an early Christmas with my parents, brothers & their families this year. Josh was excited to see a HUGE box with his name on it. We all teased him by saying it was for each of us. He finally had enough and said "No! It's not for you. It says 'To Josh. From Santa: I love you all way to north pole.'"

-- Me: Josh, do some yoga & calm yourself down. Josh: How do you do yoga? Me: You know, when we criss cross applesauce and take a deep breath & close our eyes? Josh: Oh yea, and we juggle balls? *sigh*

-- "I told ya I have a license drivens. Just a 'tend one."

-- Josh: Where'd you get this toy? Me: It was mine when I was little. Josh: Did you share it? Me: Yes, me & robert & matt. Josh: And Kate? Me: No, not Kate. Josh: Why? Me: I didn't know Kate when I was little. Josh: Oh, that's sad!

-- Me: What do you want to do tomorrow? Josh: I have good idea...we can go to the beach! Me: Oh, that would be fun but it's too far to go today. Josh: Well, Grammy's friend has a house at the beach and you can call her & say "Is the beach this way or that way?" Me: Who is Grammy's friend? Josh: Teri. Do you know her?

-- Claire (G'ma) said to David "Bless you, my child." And Josh said "Your child?!" She said "Yea, he's my child." Josh said "None my business!"

-- Our friend Jennifer asked Josh who his favorite cousin was and he said "Jackson is my one favorite cousin & Holton is my 'nother favorite cousin." (Very diplomatic of him, I think.)

-- Me: "These toes look like chesnuts & I think we should roast some" Josh: "These are not cereal!!"

-- "Mom, Dad: it IS christmas. Can I open my present? It has my name on it."

Joshisms

-- "'Quinano' is person who tells people what to do like to go.....or stop.....or move. They're just 'tend. I have lots quinanos at my work." (This is a totally made up word so if it means something terrible in some other language I deeply apologize. :))

-- Josh: "Grammy lives in Hamburger."
Me: You mean Gasburg?
Josh: "Oh, right, right, Gasburg. Well, sounds like hamburger.....Gasburger?"

-- Josh: "I never been to space. What it looks like?" Me: I've never been either. Josh: "I think Matt been to space."

-- Josh has gotten into telling stories, especially when we're riding in the car. This is one of his recent ones: "I was walking in the woods and I saw some bad guy rabbits. And I was feeding them some carrots and know what happened?! It made them not bad guys anymore! It changed their hearts and made them good."

-- I was telling Josh about Joshua and the battle of Jericho and midway through the story he exclaimed "Hey! My name is Joshua, too! I never know his name is same as mine. That's crazy!"

-- At the end of my story about Joshua & Jericho I asked if Josh knew what happened when they all blew their horns as the Lord had instructed them to. He answered "The walls of Jericho fell down." "How did you know that?", I asked. He nonchalantly said, "God told me."

-- While having the Hall Family Christmas/Baby Finn baby shower at Doug & Bonnie's last week, Josh was sitting on the couch with Megan. Raja, Chris & Beth's dog, walked by and upon seeing her "rear end" Josh politely instructed Megan: "Mae mae, us don't touch dog holes." She quickly agreed and added that we don't touch ANY holes. :)

-- Josh and I babysat Jackson one day last week and he was such a big help! Jackson was starting to fuss a little and I had to go warm up a bottle and let Sadie back in. I asked Josh to entertain Jackson for 2 minutes while the bottle warmed. as I came back into the room I stopped at the door to watch the boys. Josh was very calm and helped quiet Jackson down. From the door I heard, "Oh oh, where's your passie? Oh, dere it is! Ok. Here you go. Have your passie. There. See? Noooo problem!" :)

-- Josh: "Mama, guess what?! I got married today!"
Me: "You did?! Who did you marry?"
Josh: "My best girl. Her name is Georgia."
(I don't think we know anyone named Georgia so I have no idea where he got that from."

The truth about Santa...

On the way home from Poppa & Grammy's today, Josh and I stopped to get some gas in the car. The gas station had one of those (freaky) life sized Santas right inside the doorway. Josh saw it and asked why the Santa was wearing glasses. I told him that Santa was old and needed glasses to help him see. He asked if Santa was going to die and go to Heaven. I told him no and asked why he would ask that. He said "Santa is very old and you told me that when we all get very old we will die and go to Heaven." (A few weeks ago Josh asked what happens after we're old and where we go, etc...and we, being the "every question gets an honest answer" parents that we are, told him the truth.) I told him he was right. He asked again, "So will Santa die?" Now I was at a crossroads.

Josh has been questioning Santa's existence since we started the whole Christmas talk this year. He even asked me outright last week if Santa was real. I tested him with the "What do YOU think?" answer and he decided that Santa was not real. But he still couldn't explain why Santa wasn't real in his little toddler brain.

Today I could have told him that Santa was magical and the magic keeps him alive even though he's hundreds of years old. I could have told him that the reindeer pull the flying sleigh all over the world in one night and Santa gives everyone exactly what they ask for. I could have said all of that....but Josh would have answered "Mama, magic is just 'tend." Yes, magic is pretend. (I swear he's a teenage toddler, people!) So, I chose to tell Josh that Santa ISN'T real. I explained that he's made up and it's just a fun game that parents play with their kids. It's a fun game. It's exciting to attempt to sleep on Christmas Eve knowing there's a pile of goodies waiting for you just down the hall. It's fun to wake up Christmas morning and see what everyone got. I don't want to squelch any of his excitement about Christmas. He'll wake up Christmas morning and there will be a pile of goodies just for him from "Santa."

I told my 3 year old the truth about Santa. He's not real! His response?? "But, I....................I.......I want to get presents!" And right then I was affirmed in my decision to tell him the truth. Christmas isn't about getting presents, Santa or no Santa. We've told Josh the real reason we celebrate Christmas....the Truth of Christmas. But now that Josh knows the truth, maybe we'll have less distraction from the Truth.

Joshisms

-- Josh wanted to wear a "soccer team shirt" and I didn't have one with a ball on it. He said his Chewbacca shirt had a ball on it. I told him it didn't have a ball, just Chewy. He said, "Well, his head is round like a ball..."

-- "Last night my friend came over & we got some engergy (energy) and we heard something in our house and didn't know what it was. Maybe wolf...or cat...or wolfcat...."

-- Josh: "Mama, is Santa Claus real?"
Me: "What do you think?"
Josh: "I think no. Prolly not."
Me: "Oh, ok."
Josh: "Daddy, is Santa Claus real?"
David: "He's real to you."
Josh: "I said no, he isn't real!"

-- "Let's go downstairs and just cool out." (chill out)

-- While "reading" his Bible: "Dis is storybook bout Jesus. I like dis storybook."

-- While looking at the maps in the Bible: "Let's see what the weather is."

-- Josh told me he wanted a cat. I told him I understood he did but Daddy doesn't really like cats and we'd have to get a litter box, etc. Josh asked "What's a liver box??"

-- Josh doesn't remember Ferb (our Elf on the Shelf) from last year so when we talked about expecting him to arrive this year he asked lots of questions. I explained what Ferb's job was and that Josh wasn't allowed to touch him. He wanted to know why he couldn't touch Ferb and asked: "He will pee on me?!"

-- While making cookies with Aunt Bonnie she told Josh: "You know what we have to do now? Josh: "What?" Bonnie: "We have to break eggs again." Josh: "Oh why!!? I don't want do dat!!"  (He HATES getting egg on his hands. It gives him the willies.) :)

-- While riding in the car and seeing so many Christmas decorations Josh said "I'm so cited bout Christmas!"

-- PBS shows this one Chick-fil-a commercial a lot and apparently Josh has noticed. When it came on the other day Josh said: "Mama! Listen. Hear dis..." The man on the commercial says "Our cows have no beef with that." Josh cracked up laughing and said: "hahaha, the cows don't have beef for dat!!" (I know why that's funny....cows...beef....but I have no idea why he thinks it's funny. He doesn't "get it" but laughs anyway!)

-- While Josh was at Poppa & Grammy's for the weekend I got this text from Mama: I just told Josh to stop jumping from the step to the landing. He said "ok" then walked around the corner and said "party pooper!"

-- Another text from Mama: Josh is pretending to fix my sink. I said "thank you for coming to fix my sink." Josh said, "Ok. Thank you for living here!"