Monday, December 19, 2016


It's been a few months since I posted a list of the cute and clever things my kid says. So, to celebrate winter track-out, here's a fresh batch of Joshisms!

-- Wow! That must have been a big peach! (He thought this coconut was a peach pit)

-- Joshua: So, am I gonna go to that other gymnastics class?
Me: She put you on a wait list.
Joshua: What's that?
Me: It means that the class is full so you can't go. But if someone leaves the class, they'll see who is on the wait list and they'll let that person in the class.
Joshua: Oh.
*several minutes later*
Joshua: When she calls, I bet I'll weigh enough.
Me: It doesn't matter how much you weigh; she was asking me about your age, not your weight.
Joshua: I know, but it's a "weight list".

(English is hard, you guys!!)

-- Joshua found a book of knock-knock jokes on the bookshelf the other day and has been bugging us with (bad) jokes every day. He was reading them to me from the other room and after asking me one, I heard him say to himself, "I gotta remember that...", and quietly repeated the joke.

-- Me: Can I sleep in your bed tonight?
Joshua: Yea, maybe.
Me: (thinking he had said 'Yea baby') Don't say that to me! In fact, don't say it to anyone!
Joshua: I didn't say anything!
Me: Yea, baby?!?!
Joshua: NO! I said, 'Yea maybe'...Baby?? That would just be weird!

-- Joshua: Mom, is dinner almost done?
Me: Not quite. The rolls will take about 25 minutes.
Joshua: What else did you make?
Me: Oh, tonight, we feast! I made meatballs, mashed potatoes, broccoli, and rolls.
Joshua: 25 minutes for all that?? It's worth it!

-- While looking at a photo of Mario & Luigi: "Mom, is that Mario and Lemony Slick?"

-- Me: You ready, Freddy?
Joshua: I was always ready! My last name is ready!

-- Joshua; Dad.
David: What?
Joshua: Your butt, ba-ouncy!

-- "Deck the halls of jolly holly..."

-- "You half scared me to death!"