Joshisms

-- "I spy." (In sort of a raspy voice) *ahem. Cough* "I spy. There we go." 

-- "I had a good dream and a bad dream. Two dreams. The good dream was about we went on a walk and went to fweet frog. The bad dream was about I got in a fight and was on a horse. We were fighting and then we went to fweet frog." 

-- Joshua: (When he woke up) DAD???

Me: Daddy's at work, bud. 

Joshua: I know. I said it just in case. 

-- Me: Josh, come take your Benadryl, please.

Joshua: Again? 

Me: Yep, it will help your itchies. (chigger bites are torture!)

Joshua: I'm gonna turn into a Venadryl!

-- "It's a catesuit!" (Suitcase)

-- "What day is my catch up at the doctors?" (Check up)

-- Joshua: Mom, can we watch that movie tonight?

Me: No, I don't think so. It's pretty late. 

Joshua: Dad...?

David: Josh, what did Mommy say?

Josh: Ok. Just think about it. 

-- Joshua: What kind of shoes does God wear?

Me: I don't know. 

Josh: Does He wear shoes?

Me: I don't know. I've never seen God. 

Joshua: How does your body get to Heaven when you die? Does it go up in the sky? Maybe a space shuttle takes it up there. 

Me: Your body doesn't go to Heaven. Just your soul does. 

Joshua: What is a soul?

Me: Well, it's kinda complicated but it's the part of you that makes you Josh. And my soul makes me who I am. And when you die, your body stays here and the part that makes you alive goes to Heaven. 

Joshua: But what do people in Heaven look like?

Me: I don't know. The Bible says we get new bodies. Bodies that don't ever get sick or hurt. And they're healthy and strong. 

Joshua: Oh. That's cool. 

-- Joshua: Where are you going?

Matthew: On a date. 

Joshua: I wanna go. 

Matthew: It's a romantical date. Just for me & Mae Mae. 

Joshua: I'm a man!

-- Referring to Dixie (my parent's dog) "I'm her boy. And she's my girl."

-- After Dixie laid down and yawned: "My girl is sleepy!" 

-- Joshua overheard me talking to Mama about not resting well the past few weeks and he asked: 

Josh: Is Daddy sick?

Me: No. 

Josh: Why isn't he resting well?

Me: He is. I was saying that I haven't been resting well but it's not because I'm sick.

Mama: Josh, that's good that you hear 'not resting well' and put that with being sick. Your inferencing skills are out of this world!

Josh: They're amazing?

Mama: Yes, they're amazing. 

-- Two people were baptized the other night at revival (Praise God!) and Josh always asks a lot of questions when he sees someone be baptized: 

Josh: Are they gonna get in that water?

Me: Yes, that's what you do when you get baptized. (And I explained the whole thing.)

Josh: When they come out will they be white? Or blue? Or purple?

My heart...

"So the LORD must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the LORD is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for his help."  -- Isaiah 30:18


My heart is hurting today. It's a low day for me. I'm struggling (yet again) with our inability to grow our family without any help. It's a HUGE stumbling block in my faith. Maybe it's because I can't seem to "let go and let God." Maybe it's because my faith is weak. Maybe it's because I know God could allow us to conceive on our own but I'm not completely sure He would. Maybe it's all of that, and more.


"With God’s power working in us, he can do much, much more than anything we can ask or think of." -- Ephesians 3:20


I know Satan wants me to believe that we'll never have another child. I know he wants me to feel hopeless about the whole situation. I know he wants me to fret and whine on and on. He wants me to waste all of my energy pouting and complaining. He wants to distract me from the Promises I've been given. He wants to trivialize the amazing blessings I already have. He wants me to believe that I'm unworthy of God's wonderful plan for me and my precious little family. On His PERFECT plan. He wants me to give up on God's timing. And I want to shut him out and prove him wrong. But right now, on this day, my heart's just not in the fight. I'm weary. 


"Don’t worry about anything, but pray and ask God for everything you need, always giving thanks for what you have." -- Philippians 4:6


As I type this, my sweetheart of a child is playing with his toys as he quietly sings a made up song. It's one of my favorite things he does. And earlier, while I made his lunch, he "read" me a story from his Bible. I'm not worthy of him today. He deserves so much better. He deserves a Mama who trusts the Lord to provide every need, and maybe even some wants, every day. He deserves a Mama who is satisfied with him. Only him. I can honestly say that if we never have another child, Joshua will be enough for me. Sometimes I think God put every good thing into Joshua because He knew Josh was our one and only shot. ;) I can't imagine another child as wonderful as Joshua. He really did get all the best parts of us. He is our biggest blessing. But I feel sad about him potentially being an only child. When we're old and ailing, he will have to carry all that entails on his own. I don't want that for him. I selfishly wish for a sibling (or two) for him. 

(I know adoption or fostering is always an option but I have never felt the desire to go that route. Selfish, I know. I think both are wonderful and necessary but I also honestly believe that if the Lord had that planned for us, He would give us that desire. And maybe He will one day.)

So, I will continue to pray that the Lord guides our lives. I'll pray that I ignore all the distractions around me and recognize His hand in all things. I'll work on letting go of my plans and pray that I allow Him to guide me in the way He has planned. I'll give thanks for my precious Joshua. I'll praise Him for all the new babies around me, even when it hurts. I'll rejoice in others' blessings.

"I bless God every chance I get; my lungs expand with His praise. I live and breathe God; if things aren't going well, hear this and be happy: Join me in spreading the news; together let’s get the word out. God met me more than halfway, He freed me from my anxious fears. Look at Him; give Him your warmest smile. Never hide your feelings from Him. When I was desperate, I called out, and God got me out of a tight spot. God's angel sets up a circle of protection around us while we pray. Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see— how good God is. Blessed are you who run to Him. Worship God if you want the best; worship opens doors to all His goodness. Young lions on the prowl get hungry, but God-seekers are full of God. Come, children, listen closely; I'll give you a lesson in God worship. Who out there has a lust for life? Can't wait each day to come upon beauty? Guard your tongue from profanity, and no more lying through your teeth. Turn your back on sin; do something good. Embrace peace—don't let it get away! God keeps an eye on His friends, His ears pick up every moan and groan. God won't put up with rebels; He’ll cull them from the pack. Is anyone crying for help? God is listening, ready to rescue you. If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there; if you're kicked in the gut, He'll help you catch your breath. Disciples so often get into trouble; still, God is there every time. He’s your bodyguard, shielding every bone; not even a finger gets broken. The wicked commit slow suicide; they waste their lives hating the good. God pays for each slave’s freedom; no one who runs to Him loses out. -- Psalm 34 (emphasis mine)

Joshisms

-- While waiting at the eye doctor with Grammy, the nurse came out and called the name "Anita Webb." Josh said "What?? I don't need a web!" 

-- As we were leaving the doctor's office, a lady asked Joshua if she could go to dinner with us, as it was pretty late and past closing time. He said "Sure! You want a date?" 

-- Joshua: I'm a zombie....

Me: You don't even know what zombies are. 

Joshua: Uh huh. They're monsters that walk funny and eat brains. 

Me: Where did you learn about zombies?!

Joshua: At school. 

Me: You don't go to school!

Josh: At my class at church, I do. 

Me: You learned about zombies at church?

Joshua: Yes!

Me: Who taught you about zombies?

Joshua: All my teachers.

Me: Mrs Roxy taught you about zombies?!?!

Joshua: Yea!

-- Joshua: You are a mimic. 

Me: What does mimic mean?

Josh: What does mimic mean?

Me: I think you've got it! 

-- As Megan was driving away: "Bye Mae Mae! Bye, I love you! I will come to your house any day! Be a good girl. Christmas is coming soon!! Ho Ho Ho!"

-- Texts from Mama while Joshua spent the week with her:

• Josh was singing in sweet frog. A Tim Mcgraw song was playing. J was singing "And the cars go woooooo". The song is called When the Stars Go Blue. 

• While playing basketball: He goes down the hallway out of sight and yells, "The latest and the bestest basketball mans ever!" Then he runs out saying "Thank you!" And waving. 

• Josh just walked over to the wall with the bball under his arm and pretended to read the rules. (There isn't anything there. ) He said, "OK. You must respect the rules of this basketball court. If you get it in the basket, you must throw the ball to the other team. And respect. And you do get the point. But if you hit the green team, you don't get the point. You respect. " (When I asked Mama if Josh had learned a new word, she sent: "It might have been during a discussion about "touching" the Sorry game after a fit of anger when he lost.") 😉

• After being totally disgusted that I would think about starting a game without having prayer, Josh just prayed the pre-game prayer for 3 min and 19 seconds. Yes, I timed him!  Never stopped talking. 

-- Josh overheard Mama talking about a different Josh preaching a few Sundays ago. My Josh didn't realize that HE was not scheduled to preach and so on Sunday morning, he asked Grammy if today was the day he was going to preach. Mama explained that it was a different Josh (who is now affectionately referred to as "Big Josh") and asked him what he would preach about if he could preach. His response was "The sweetness of God." :) Then he asked that since he couldn't preach, could he please sing? So, he joined the praise team that morning.