Joshisms

-- While eating a burrito: "Man, that britto is spiceheh!" (He commonly ends his words -heh. It's hard to type but sounds hilarious.)

-- "Mama, wanna play tootsie with me?" (He meant play footsie)

-- Me: The party is floating, so we'll be done before dinner.
Josh: But, Mom, is it on the earth?

-- Josh: Cut my tongue.
Me: No! If you didn't have a tongue, you couldn't talk or eat.
Josh: Yea, or taste!
Me: How did you know that?
Josh: Because I'm an artist. A mouth artist.
Me: What does a mouth artist do?
Josh: I fix mouths.

-- "Girls are weird!"

-- Josh to a friend: We sing that song at *mumble mumble*.
Me: At where?
Josh: At *mumble mumble*.
Me: Where??
Josh: AT YOUR MAMA'S HOUSE!!!

-- "Know what? Some suns have no sticky out things on them!"

-- "See that black sheshell? It's not a sheshell. It's called *dramatic pause* shark bone!"

-- Josh: How do birds scratch their butts?
Me: I'm not sure.
Josh: I think maybe they drag their butt on the ground like a dog.

-- While playing the game "Sorry":
Josh: Why did Davis give me I'm Sorry?
Me: Because he knew you liked to play that game.
Josh: Did Aunt Bonnie tell him? (He always plays Sorry at her house.)
Me: No, I told his Mama. I knew most of your birthday presents.
Josh: *gasp!* WHAT????!!!!
Me: I knew you were getting a sandbox. Remember that day we went to the office because I had to ask Ms Laurie and Ms Unique (yes, that's really her name...) a question? I was asking if you could have a sandbox at our apartment.
Josh: I didn't know that!
Me: I know! I spelled it.
Josh: Why?
Me: Because I didn't want you to know what I was saying and you can't spell.
Josh: Haha, that's funny!