Joshisms

-- Joshua: Mama, what is that cricket noise?

Me: It's a cricket. 

Joshua: But I thought crickets only crick at nighttime. 

Me: Some crickets crick during the day, too. 

-- Yelled from the other room: "Mommy, Daddy's in an attitude!!"

-- Joshua: Is it gonna be cold today?

Me: Yes. It will be cool all week.

Joshua: When it rains....it will be snow!

-- Josh is learning -ap words this week:

Me: "The ___(map)___ is of North Carolina." What is that a picture of?

Josh: A sign?

Me: No. It's kind of like a sign that gives you directions. It starts with "mmmmm..."

Josh: 'Murica!

-- "Baseball gloves look like five hot dog buns." 

-- Josh: I want to be a screeching eel for Halloween. (From the Princess Bride.)

Me: I thought you wanted to be Harry Potter.

Josh: But a screeching eel is scarier.

Me: If you're a screeching eel, no one will know who you are.

Josh: Uh huh, I'll just say 'Trick or treat; I'm Josh!'

-- Me: You get to see all of your cousins this weekend!

Josh: ALL of them?!

Me: Yes! Jackson, Holt, & Hayes will all be at Poppa & Grammy's. 

Josh: What about Liam?

Me: No, Liam won't be there.

Josh: But Liam is my cousin!

Me: Yes, Liam is your cousin. But it's a different kind of cousin b/c his Mama & your Mama are cousins so y'all are 2nd cousins. Jackson, Holt & Hayes are your 1st cousins. It's complicated. But technically, they're all your cousins. 

Josh: And that guy that lives with Chris? 

Me: Finley?

Josh: Yes, Finley. He's my cousin.

Me: Yes, he's your 2nd cousin, too. Finley, Liam & the new baby are all your 2nd cousins. 

Josh: THE NEW BABY WILL BE MY COUSIN?!?!?!!!!!!

-- Josh has always liked rhyming and does it every chance he gets; even if he has to make up words to make it work. He also does a "as a" thing constantly. 

Clean as a bean

Hungry as a bun

Crazy as a bazy

Gross as a bross

-- Josh: Grammy!! I know where we can eat supper!

Grammy: Where?!

Josh: At Wheel Barrel!

Grammy: Where?

Josh: Wheel Barrel.

Grammy: You mean Cracker Barrel?

Josh: Oh, yea!

-- Josh: I'm gonna be the Ring Bear at Emily's wedding. 

Me: Yes, and guess what?!

Josh: What?

Me: Remember that wedding we went to that was outside and we danced?

Josh: Yes.

Me: Their ring bearer didn't really carry the rings. But YOU are gonna carry the real rings! So you have a very important job!

Josh: So I'll give them their rings?

Me: You'll probably give them to Grandaddy and he'll give them to Jason & Emily. 

Josh: Grandaddy?!

Me: Yes! He's going to officiate the wedding if he's feeling better. We need to pray that he'll be feeling really good then.

Josh: I hope God knows.

Me: Knows what?

Josh: That Grandaddy is doing the wedding!

Me: He knows. :)

-- Josh to David: If you go to that NC State game, you're gonna be a Wolfpacker the whole rest of your life!

-- While packing his lunch box:

Me: Do you want the applesauce we made or the kind in the fridge?

Josh: Your kind tastes the best but I want to take this kind. 

Me: Very diplomatic of you, kid.