Joshisms

-- Me: What kind of cereal do you want?

Joshua: Fruit Toodles....Toodle Fruits. The kind with marshmallows in it.

Me: Lucky Charms?

Joshua: That's it!

-- Joshua: Remember when you were a kid and Grandaddy would say, "I wouldn't go down there if I was you." because he thought there was a man with a bloody axe down there?

Me: Yea. He was just tricking us. 

Joshua: Was the axe bloody from chopping off heads?

Me: I don't know why it was bloody. 

Joshua: Well, I can't ask him now. Because he's dead.

Me: When you get to Heaven you can ask him.

Joshua: Yep. Maybe Grandmama knows. I'll ask her.  

-- While throwing the frisbee with David: Dude, I'm not a professional! 

-- Brains taste like memories. 

-- Me to David: You're so smart. 

Joshua: He's been in high school...

-- Joshua pushing his way past me- 

Me: Excuse me son, am I in your way?

Joshua: Ha! Kids this day....

-- A commercial on TV said, "Thank you to moms everywhere...."

Joshua said, "Thanks, mom!"

-- Me: Robert told me to let him know and he would put the new brakes on for us. But I told him I didnt want to waste part of his day off, etc. and he was like, "It's not a big deal. Just let me know."

Joshua: Who said that mean thing to you?

Me: Dude. 

Joshua: Well, he's just a sassy-pants! 

-- Joshua: Mom! These rabbits turn white in the winter! That's crazy!

Me: Why do you think God made it so they would turn white?

Joshua: Because the snow is white.

Me: And why is it important that they match the snow?

Joshua: So other snow animals can't see them. Like snow foxes and snow snakes. Well, not snow snakes. That's not real.