Joshisms

-- "Pain in the back!"

-- J & I are watching "Planet Earth" and they're showing some kind of wild dogs. Josh says, "That looks like those dogs I saw at Grammy's house. But they look much different. They looked like fire dogs (Dalmatians) but one was white with black spots and the other one was black with white spots. I asked where he saw them. He said he saw them when he went out to swing. He said, "I decided to come in because they were just standing in the road." 

I texted Mama and asked about them and she responded: Hunting dogs. I've seen them before. They are white with black patches. 

-- "Feel the rhythm, feel the ripe, get on up, it's bobsled time!"

-- As we were driving into Richmond, Josh looks up from his book and says, "We're in New York!!!" 

-- Joshua: Where's the switch for the cruncher?

David: What cruncher?

Joshua: In the sink.

David: Oh, we don't have a garbage disposal at this house. We had one at our old house.

Joshua: Oh. That's a shame.

-- Me: We need to pack up our ornaments.

Joshua: Why?

Me: Because we have to take the Christmas tree down.

Joshua: No! We're not!

Me: Yes, it's time to take it down.

Joshua: I'm not gonna let you. I'm gonna tape you to the wall and put an X on you and make a sign that says, 'My Mommy. Not for sale.' And then you can't take it down ever!

-- David was watching a football game (can't remember which teams) and I came in the room. I asked which city they were playing in and David answered. Then Josh piped up and said, "And, they're playing INSIDE!! Can you believe it, Mom?!?!!"

-- Josh had been tracked out of school for almost a month and on his first day back, I got him an Oreo McFlurry as a surprise snack at pick-up. He took a bite and said, "Best mom ever!!" 

-- We didn't have show and tell today because Ms Brodie is cray-cray.

-- Josh: I want a kissing egg. (Like on Cool Runnings)

Me: That's not real. A real egg would have broken when they crashed. 

Josh: Why?!

Me: Because eggs are fragile.

Josh: Like Grammy!

-- Joshua took cheese & crackers for lunch today. When I picked him up, he said he only ate some of the cheese b/c it tasted different. I told him it was the same cheese we always buy. He said, "I think I ate so much of Mae Mae's cheese that I got a kallergy to cheese!" I said, "A what?!" "A kallergy....like when you can't have something b/c it makes you sick? That's what I have."

-- Me: You're going to bed early tonight.

Joshua: No, I'm not!

Me: I think you are.

Joshua: I think I amn't!

-- Me: Are you going to bed early tonight?

Joshua: NO!!

Me: How about if bedtime is at 8 oclock?

Joshua: 8?!!

Me: Yes.

Joshua: That's a long time!

Me: It's 3.5 hours from now 

Joshua: 3.5 hours?!? Awesome!!

(I won't be able to get away with that when he starts telling time. 😉)