Joshisms

-- We saw a lizard on our front porch. Joshua screamed, "It's an iguana!"

-- Me: Catch the lizard, Josh!

Joshua: I need a pot!

-- Joshua got a stuffed cat and mouse from our most recent trip to Ikea. He named the mouse "Ratty Mo' Fatty."

-- Joshua: What does the cow say when it's riding it's horse across the road?

Me: I don't know, what does the cow say?

Joshua: "Moo-ha!" 

-- Mom, who do you think is the best in this family? Except for me, who's the best? You or Daddy?

-- Joshua's story at school for this week was Cinderella. He's read it several times and said, "I'm thinking something weird happens because everything disappears at midnight except the shoes." 

-- You know how you have water on your face and then it disappears? It's evaporating. Into a cloud. 

-- Joshua: Dad, you remember that movie we watched about the rocket that goes to space and something happens and they're stuck there but then they come home?

David: Apollo 13?

Joshua: Yes! Can we watch the first one?

-- Joshua: *singing* Bare acessanees

Me: It's "Bare Necessities". 

Joshua: What does necessities mean?

Me: Needs

Joshua: *singing* Bare needs...bare needs. 

-- Angie: Next Sunday is Mother's Day, so you and your Dad need to make a plan for your Mom. Take her breakfast in bed and buy some flowers and she's in charge all day.

Joshua: Can I have breakfast in bed, too?

Angie: Take breakfast to your Mom and then you can all eat in bed together. 

Joshua: Yes!! When is Son's Day?

-- Joshua was talking about something gross and he said, "That gives me the jiggles!" (He meant willies.)

-- I let Joshua scrape the bowl after making cupcakes. I asked, "Best day ever?" He replied, "YOU'RE the best day ever."

-- David: Come look at the moon.

Joshua: Oh wow! It's a crust moon!

Me: A crust?

Joshua: Yea, a crust moon. 

Me: You mean a crescent moon?

Joshua: haha, oh yea, a crescent. 

-- Joshua: Blood is a liquid because it takes the shape of whatever it's in. 

Me: Yes, that's right. How do you know that?!

Joshua: From school!

Me: Are we liquids?

Joshua: No, people are solids. Except Grammy. She's not a solid.

Me: Then what is she?

Joshua: She's a delicate flower!

-- My brother, Robert, and his family came over for dinner the other night. Dude

(as Joshua calls him) was picking on Josh, as usual, and Josh looked over at me and asked, "How did you grow up with this guy?!"