Saturday, July 23, 2016

Joshisms



-- I was trying to talk David into cooking some fried rice and he wasn't having it. I thought I could sway him if Joshua was on my side:

Me: J, do you want some fried rice?
J: No! I don't want dried rice!

-- Joshua went outside to get something from the sandbox but came right back in. I asked if he had changed his mind. He replied, "The chickens are having a girls day over there." (Petrie sometimes chases him, so he avoids her when he's alone.)

-- "I'm gonna help Dad clean out the garage. And when we get done with all that business, I'm gonna play with him."

-- Joshua was playing a game with Grammy and had to draw an item listed on one of the playing cards. His item was a fork. He drew a fork with three tines and then said that because it only had three, it should be called a "thork". 

-- David was talking to a co-worker on the phone about work stuff and was using work jargon, which sounds like greek to us. Joshua looked at me and asked, "How do they know this stuff?"

-- After watching Toy Story 3: "Does Buzz *ever* take his suit off?!"

-- Me: Sing a song from your play to Grammy.
Joshua: One small voice, singing....that's all I've got.

-- Me: Joshua, go get the sunscreen out of my bag, please. 
Joshua: *gets the sunscreen* Mom, you're not 50. You can't use this. It says 50 plus. 
Me: Hah! That's the SPF, not who's allowed to use it. 

-- Mom, can we watch Alice and the Wonderland?

-- This ranch dip is off the line!

-- Me: We have so much to do tomorrow!
Joshua: Like what?
Me: Go through all these old clothes, finish laundry, start packing for the beach...
Joshua: Make a secret plan to steal Dolly...
*looks at Poppa & Grammy* Well, I guess it isn't a secret anymore! 

-- Joshua: *singing* Who, who, who let the dogs out? Now you go, Mom.
Me: Who let the dogs out? We used to sing that in high school because we were the Brunswick Bulldogs. 
Joshua: Bwunsick, Bunswick...I can't say that. Brunsick, Brunsrick, Brunswick...there it is! Brunswick Bulldogs. 

-- Mom, I don't have any flip in my flip flops! Guess they're just flops. 

-- Me: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Joshua: The egg. 
Me: But how did the egg get here if there was no chicken to lay it?
Joshua: The chicken, then!
Me: But how did the chicken get here if there was no egg to hatch from?
Joshua: A mama chicken and a Dada chicken fall in love, and they put their butts together and make an egg and the mama chicken drops it out and it makes more chickens. 
Me: Is that how chickens make more chickens? 
Joshua: I don't know how they do it. I don't know that much about chickens. Just that they peck a lot and they make eggs. 

No comments:

Post a Comment