Joshisms

-- "Pain in the back!"

-- J & I are watching "Planet Earth" and they're showing some kind of wild dogs. Josh says, "That looks like those dogs I saw at Grammy's house. But they look much different. They looked like fire dogs (Dalmatians) but one was white with black spots and the other one was black with white spots. I asked where he saw them. He said he saw them when he went out to swing. He said, "I decided to come in because they were just standing in the road." 

I texted Mama and asked about them and she responded: Hunting dogs. I've seen them before. They are white with black patches. 

-- "Feel the rhythm, feel the ripe, get on up, it's bobsled time!"

-- As we were driving into Richmond, Josh looks up from his book and says, "We're in New York!!!" 

-- Joshua: Where's the switch for the cruncher?

David: What cruncher?

Joshua: In the sink.

David: Oh, we don't have a garbage disposal at this house. We had one at our old house.

Joshua: Oh. That's a shame.

-- Me: We need to pack up our ornaments.

Joshua: Why?

Me: Because we have to take the Christmas tree down.

Joshua: No! We're not!

Me: Yes, it's time to take it down.

Joshua: I'm not gonna let you. I'm gonna tape you to the wall and put an X on you and make a sign that says, 'My Mommy. Not for sale.' And then you can't take it down ever!

-- David was watching a football game (can't remember which teams) and I came in the room. I asked which city they were playing in and David answered. Then Josh piped up and said, "And, they're playing INSIDE!! Can you believe it, Mom?!?!!"

-- Josh had been tracked out of school for almost a month and on his first day back, I got him an Oreo McFlurry as a surprise snack at pick-up. He took a bite and said, "Best mom ever!!" 

-- We didn't have show and tell today because Ms Brodie is cray-cray.

-- Josh: I want a kissing egg. (Like on Cool Runnings)

Me: That's not real. A real egg would have broken when they crashed. 

Josh: Why?!

Me: Because eggs are fragile.

Josh: Like Grammy!

-- Joshua took cheese & crackers for lunch today. When I picked him up, he said he only ate some of the cheese b/c it tasted different. I told him it was the same cheese we always buy. He said, "I think I ate so much of Mae Mae's cheese that I got a kallergy to cheese!" I said, "A what?!" "A kallergy....like when you can't have something b/c it makes you sick? That's what I have."

-- Me: You're going to bed early tonight.

Joshua: No, I'm not!

Me: I think you are.

Joshua: I think I amn't!

-- Me: Are you going to bed early tonight?

Joshua: NO!!

Me: How about if bedtime is at 8 oclock?

Joshua: 8?!!

Me: Yes.

Joshua: That's a long time!

Me: It's 3.5 hours from now 

Joshua: 3.5 hours?!? Awesome!!

(I won't be able to get away with that when he starts telling time. 😉)

Comparing Joshua's Interviews - 2011-2014

	2011	2012	2013	2014
What is your name?	Josh David White	Can you guess my name? My name is....um....what is my new name? Jeremiah Josh David White (He has recently decided to change his name to Jeremiah but has a hard time remembering.)	Josh	Joshua David White
When is your birthday?	Next year	I don't know.	Um, I don’t know. I don’t remember…Saturday?	May 13th
What is your favorite color?	Brown	Blue and Green	Gray	Red
What is your favorite toy?	Opto Prime (Optomis Prime)	My toy motorcycle.	My Hulch hands (Hulk hands)	My keyboard.
What is your favorite food?	Chicken	Hot dogs and mac & cheese	Biscuits	Ice Cream? Spaghetti…with cheese on it.
What is your favorite holiday?	Monkey	What is a holiday? After explanation: I like to do all of 'em.	Christmas	Christmas
Who is your teacher?	Mrs Tanza (Mrs Tanya)	I don't have a class.	Um, I don’t know.	Ms Rhyne and Ms Brodie
Who is your best friend?	MacKayla	At the park, what is his name? Parker (A boy he met ONCE at the park.)	Tank	Tyler and Trenton
What is your favorite song?	Baby Jesus (Away in a Manger)	Umm.....lot of 'em is my favorite. The Boat Song is my best one.	I came in like a wrecking ball.	Nothing Ever Can Separate Us
What is your favorite book?	Baby Jesus (Nativity book)	Um, the books we have already.	The clock book.	The Mouse About the House
What was your favorite part about last year?	Mines bike	Goin' to the beach.	Candy. What does ‘last year’ mean? After explanation: Tank was my best.	When’s last year? After explanation: Going to Busch Gardens!
What are you looking forward to for this year?	Mines shield	I like to ride my bike and lot of stuff. Hang out and drink some spicy drink.	I want to play with Daddy. And I want to play with Tank but not him biting and teach him better. And school! I love school!	Maybe getting a guitar for my birthday.

End of the Year Interview - 2014

1) What is your name? Joshua David White

2) When is your birthday? May thirteenth 

3) What is your favorite color? Red

4) What is your favorite toy?  My keyboard!

5) What is your favorite food? Ice cream? What about real food, like a meal? Spaghetti. With cheese on it. 

6) What is your favorite holiday? Christmas! 

7) Who is your teacher? Ms Rhyne and Ms Brodie.

8) Who is your best friend? Tyler and Trenton. 

9) What is your favorite song? Nothing Ever Can Separate Us.

10) What is your favorite book? The Mouse About the House.

11) What was your favorite part about last year? When's last year? After some explanation: Going to Busch Gardens!

12) What are you looking forward to for this year? Maybe getting a guitar for my birthday.

Joshisms

-- While I was frying bacon to use for cheese fries, Josh came in & asked what the bacon was for. I just waggled my eyebrows at him and he said, "Bacon pie?!!!!" 

-- Joshua & I were talking about all the things we would see and do when we go to Washington DC next year. 

Joshua: Will we see the President?

Me: No. We can go by the house he lives in but we can't see him. 

Joshua: Why not?

Me: Well, he's a very important person and is busy and not just anyone is allowed to meet him. 

Joshua: The President is mean!

Me: Mean? Why do you say that?

Joshua: Because! When people say a lie, he says, "WRONG!!!!" and bangs his little hammer thing. 

Me: I think you're thinking about a judge. The President isn't a judge. 

-- I love Joshua's sense of humor. We recently saw his school counselor in Target and after getting over the shock of seeing a teacher outside of school (because they live there, right?!), he told me that she comes to his class and reads books to the students. I asked, "What kind of books?" He answered, "Ask her." I refused and told him that I wanted him to tell me. We went back and forth about it a few times. I insisted he tell me and he laughed and said, "The book is called 'Ask Her'. I laughed and said, "Are you tricking me?" He cracks himself up. :)

-- Grammy was talking to Joshua about shapes. 

Grammy: How many sides does a pentagon have? 

Josh: What's a pentagon?

Grammy: You haven't learned about pentagons yet?

Josh: No. It sounds scary!

-- I said something to David about someone being charged with fraud and Josh said, "Who got attacked by a frog?" 

-- It had been a long week for us and we were dragging by Thursday morning. I went in to wake Joshua up for school: 

Me: Good morning! It's time to get up. 

Josh: *moan*

Me: I could sleep for a while longer, how about you?

Josh: *raises hand*

Me: Why did you raise your hand?

Joshua: More sleep. 

-- Can we go Christmas Carolson? (Christmas Caroling)

-- Grandma was telling me about her wedding ring being too big and that she was afraid she'd lose it down the sink. Joshua piped up and said, "You should have a wedding bracelet, then it wouldn't fall down the sink!"

-- Joshua is a little confused about the lyrics of "Silent Night": Silent night, hold me tight

Joshisms

-- Joshua: Mama, what is that cricket noise?

Me: It's a cricket. 

Joshua: But I thought crickets only crick at nighttime. 

Me: Some crickets crick during the day, too. 

-- Yelled from the other room: "Mommy, Daddy's in an attitude!!"

-- Joshua: Is it gonna be cold today?

Me: Yes. It will be cool all week.

Joshua: When it rains....it will be snow!

-- Josh is learning -ap words this week:

Me: "The ___(map)___ is of North Carolina." What is that a picture of?

Josh: A sign?

Me: No. It's kind of like a sign that gives you directions. It starts with "mmmmm..."

Josh: 'Murica!

-- "Baseball gloves look like five hot dog buns." 

-- Josh: I want to be a screeching eel for Halloween. (From the Princess Bride.)

Me: I thought you wanted to be Harry Potter.

Josh: But a screeching eel is scarier.

Me: If you're a screeching eel, no one will know who you are.

Josh: Uh huh, I'll just say 'Trick or treat; I'm Josh!'

-- Me: You get to see all of your cousins this weekend!

Josh: ALL of them?!

Me: Yes! Jackson, Holt, & Hayes will all be at Poppa & Grammy's. 

Josh: What about Liam?

Me: No, Liam won't be there.

Josh: But Liam is my cousin!

Me: Yes, Liam is your cousin. But it's a different kind of cousin b/c his Mama & your Mama are cousins so y'all are 2nd cousins. Jackson, Holt & Hayes are your 1st cousins. It's complicated. But technically, they're all your cousins. 

Josh: And that guy that lives with Chris? 

Me: Finley?

Josh: Yes, Finley. He's my cousin.

Me: Yes, he's your 2nd cousin, too. Finley, Liam & the new baby are all your 2nd cousins. 

Josh: THE NEW BABY WILL BE MY COUSIN?!?!?!!!!!!

-- Josh has always liked rhyming and does it every chance he gets; even if he has to make up words to make it work. He also does a "as a" thing constantly. 

Clean as a bean

Hungry as a bun

Crazy as a bazy

Gross as a bross

-- Josh: Grammy!! I know where we can eat supper!

Grammy: Where?!

Josh: At Wheel Barrel!

Grammy: Where?

Josh: Wheel Barrel.

Grammy: You mean Cracker Barrel?

Josh: Oh, yea!

-- Josh: I'm gonna be the Ring Bear at Emily's wedding. 

Me: Yes, and guess what?!

Josh: What?

Me: Remember that wedding we went to that was outside and we danced?

Josh: Yes.

Me: Their ring bearer didn't really carry the rings. But YOU are gonna carry the real rings! So you have a very important job!

Josh: So I'll give them their rings?

Me: You'll probably give them to Grandaddy and he'll give them to Jason & Emily. 

Josh: Grandaddy?!

Me: Yes! He's going to officiate the wedding if he's feeling better. We need to pray that he'll be feeling really good then.

Josh: I hope God knows.

Me: Knows what?

Josh: That Grandaddy is doing the wedding!

Me: He knows. :)

-- Josh to David: If you go to that NC State game, you're gonna be a Wolfpacker the whole rest of your life!

-- While packing his lunch box:

Me: Do you want the applesauce we made or the kind in the fridge?

Josh: Your kind tastes the best but I want to take this kind. 

Me: Very diplomatic of you, kid. 

Joshisms

-- Joshua: Grammy, why is that saw horse wobbly?

Grammy: Because the screws are loose.

Joshua: They're bolts; not screws. 

-- Grammy was telling Poppa about Josh correcting her on the bolt/screw thing. 

Joshua: Am I right, Poppa?

Poppa: You're a Hand. Of course, you're right. 

Grammy: He's not a Hand. He's a White. 

Joshua: I'm RIGHT, not WHITE.

Grammy: Your last name is White. 

Joshua: Oh, yea. 

-- Poppa was preaching about the Holy Spirit and how God chose a dove to represent the Holy Spirit when Jesus was baptized. He said, "God didn't choose an eagle or a sparrow. He chose a dove." Joshua asked me, "A duck?!?!"

-- Joshua: I wanna go to Holt's. 

Me: Why?

Joshua: 'Cause I just love Holt!

-- "There's a race car in that building. In the three market." (Flea market)

-- David: Do you wanna build a snowman? 

Joshua: 😐

David: Come on, you know you want to. 

Joshua: Yea, I really do. And throw snowballs. But it's summer. 

-- "Do they have any food here? Hey, where's the vegetarian room?" (cafeteria)

-- While doing homework:

Me: Which one of these rhymes with "mug" and "plug"? 

Joshua: Doug! I mean, rug. 

Me: Correct. 

Joshua: And, Doug. 

-- Joshua had his first field trip Friday. They visited the "community helpers" around town: post office, ems, police, fire station, etc. Josh was most excited about getting the chance to ride a school bus for the first time. 

Joshua: Hey T, you know what? We don't even have to wear seat belts on the bus!

T: Yea! That's so cool!

-- Joshua: The police station doesn't do anything. They just sit in the shade and cool off. 

Me: Oh, yea!? Who told you that?

Joshua: Cause they only have one jail. They don't even catch bad guys. But they do keep eyes on someone. Well, what do they do? 

Joshisms

I've had a stressful week and need a pick-me-up. Maybe you do, too? Here are a few Joshisms to start your weekend off right! :)

-- Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Joshua: A policeman.
Me: Oh yea? How come?
Joshua: So I can speed and it will tickle my tummy when I go fast over hills.

-- "Can I have some of those tomato chips?" (potato chips)

-- "Mom! A hurming bird just came to the window!" (Sounds like something Madea would say. ;))

-- Joshua: Have you heard the song, 'I love peanuts'?
Me: No.
Joshua: Well, you're 'bout to hear it! *starts singing*

-- Joshua walked down to Grandpa Hand's garden during a quick visit a few weekends ago. He went down there to find Grandpa but they missed each other on his way down and Grandpa was already back at the house. I went out to tell Josh to come back up but he couldn't hear me all the way down the hill. A few seconds later, I saw him coming around the garage and up the hill at full speed. He was mouthing, "Keep running! Keep running!"

Me: Is something chasing you?
Joshua: There's something down there!!!!
Me: What is it?!
Joshua: I don't know! It's a person, I think.
Me: *laughing* It's a scarecrow!
Joshua: I thought maybe it was a zombie but I wasn't sure!

-- Joshua's homework instructions: Draw and color 5 things that begin with T and label.

Joshua: I'm drawing a bear.
Me: Bear doesn't begin with the letter T.
Joshua: Oh, I'm drawing a chicken, then.
Me: Chicken doesn't begin with the letter T, either.
Joshua: Okay, I'll draw a turkey!

-- Josh fell while riding his bike and got a few nasty scrapes. David was trying to cheer him up and told him that, "Chicks dig scars."

Joshua: Chicks?
Me: Girls.
Joshua: Dig?
Me: Like.
Joshua: I dig you, Mom.
Me: I dig you, too, Josh.