Joshisms

I've been writing down Josh's latest -isms so I won't forget to share them. He's at such a fun age and has an awesome imagination. Also, English is HARD!!!

• While watching me make dinner he asks "Are we having smashed tomatoes?" I ask "Do you mean mashed potatoes?"  He answers, "Oh yea, mashed taytoes." :)

• On the way home from school Josh saw a police officer in her patrol car. He asked where her boyfriend was. After a bit of questioning I realized he was asking where her partner was. I explained that not all police officers have partners and as an example told him that before Uncle Matt got Cash (the police dog) he rode around by himself. Josh said "Him have police clothes." I asked "Matt or Cash?" Josh replied "Matt. (long pause) If Cash had police clothes dat would be very funny. Cash would laugh and die." Translation: Cash would die laughing. :)

• On the way out of the hospital after seeing Jackson, Josh starts to panic because we didn't take Jackson with us. I explained that Jackson was Matt & Megan's baby and he would go home with them. He protested that Jackson was HIS baby and would live with him! We went back and forth for a few minutes and then I explained that if I had a baby it would be his baby. His response: "Well, have one den!" 

• We've been teaching Josh a few little jokes. The latest is "Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight (ate) nine!" Josh laughed and laughed and then admitted he didn't know why it was funny. I explained that eight and ate are two words that sound the same but mean different things. EIGHT is a number between seven and nine and ATE is an action word that means you gobbled something up. I told him that when you say "seven eight nine" it sounds like you mean "seven gobbled up nine". The next time he told it he said "Why was six scared of seven? Cause seven might bite his friends!" (Not exactly but he got the point!)

• Another joke: "How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!" After explaining "boogie" also meant to dance, Josh found this to be hilarious. When he told it to Matt & Megan he said "Put a little booger in it." :) 

• I have a skirt that is a blue and purple print. Josh told me the other day that he liked the skirt and that I looked like a seagull. He meant peacock and he was right...it does resemble the pattern and colors of a peacock feather.

• We dropped Josh off with my cousin, Tiffy and her husband, Jeff last Saturday while we house hunted in Raleigh. After we left them I got a text from Tiffy telling me Josh had asked her "You got any potties here?" 

• While driving this weekend Josh noticed some cows in a field. The conversation went like this: Josh: "Can us touch cows?" Me: "Yes, you can pet cows like you pet horses." Josh: "Can us roll cows over?" Me: "Why would you want to roll a cow over?" Josh: "So I can see their gutters and put milk in my cup." 

• On the way to church Josh says "I want to get a paper from those teachers that hold the doors open." (He wanted a bulletin from the greeters.) 

• Josh was wrestling with Matt and called out to Megan (Mae Mae) for help. She told him she couldn't help right now because she couldn't get up quickly and Josh asked "Well, can you get up slowly?"

• A few weeks ago after church Josh was showing me his paper from class. The lesson had been about Moses parting the sea and leading the Israelites across dry land. I asked Josh why the people needed to walk through and he said "Cause them need to go on vacation."